Locale: Minneapolis, MN
Profile: I'm cap'n of this here ship. Arrrrrrrr.
Favourite colour: xarblox
I will just make the next 8 count double.
Interestingly, they've suspended development. I guess announcing an idea and actually finishing it are two very different things.
Another link of record for the negative 25 million votes for Kerry:
I would like to point out that I posted the comments above as a comment on the Huffington Post article, and they still have not approved it.
I suppose it would have been shorter and made the same point to simply ask if any of those pro table layouts people could actually name a single benefit.
I didn't have any free time.
Wow I dunno "omghi2u" ... maybe I draw some distinction between magical furry animals and human beings?
And if some men in a documentary managed to fashion their testicles into some sort of giant sailboat, you are goddamn right it would be a must-see for all.
That shit would be impressive!
The reason this is all so fantastic and hilarious is precisely because Americans are so uptight about sexuality.
And having grown up in the US, there is something truly magical about watching somebody get beat down by giant testicles.
I'm sorry that some of you who have vastly superior cultural understanding and comfort with your sexuality don't apparently also have a very well developed sense of humor.
The American Civil Liberties Union responded today to a stunning new report that the NSA has effectively revived the Orwellian "Total Information Awareness" domestic-spying program that was banned by Congress in 2003.
"They create heroic identities with names like Black Arrow, Green Scorpion, and Mr. Silent, and wear bright Superman spandex or black ninja suits."
Much like early Batman or Spiderman, I bet they are also viewed as enemy by the police. Hope they can afford bullet proof vests. Cops don't view people running around in ninja suits nicely these days.
not old enough
How hard is it for congress to hold hearings where they start with Kiriakou asking the question "who okayed torture" and work their way up?
Well... except for that whole little problem where THEY okayed it themselves.
Man... Cheney is trying REALLY hard to get the torture cover-up out of the news today:
With 110 robots showing up, it was an even bigger success than I predicted!
NO! THAT IS NOT OKAY!
also... I like that my pasSWORD icon is still Zorked out.
You mean Tanuki? Like in Mario 3? The Tanuki suit let mario fly and turn to stone.... no giant magical testicles, though.
Man, that would have been a different game...
you bought from an undercover?
or you bought ditch weed from a hobo?
Well, they don't trip the metal detector, the xray machine, or the bomb chemical tests... but just one dog sniff, one unlucky day, and you'll wish you listened to your friends.
It would be totally elevens if everybody starting saying "taking a Klobuchar."
Yeah... it's not like there was a frickin Discovery Channel special about how if a hurricane over category 3 hit New Orleans the levies and the pumps would fail.
Just like then, they knew what could happen, and they weren't willing to pay to fix it. Tax cuts for people who make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year are more important.
More LOLcats of death:
Well well well... CNN is reporting that the TSA announcement was bogus. Yes, that's right.
Only, they are reporting it at 6:30 am in the fucking morning on a Saturday and didn't post anything about this on their website.
Manipulate Americans with fear, and then to cover your ass, issue a correction... only do it at a time and in such a way that most average Americans only hear the fear story not the correction.
Added bonus: see the little old white lady "terrorist" interviewed about the experience.
I'd love to see the TSA ban cheese like they banned water... don't piss off dairy farmers, man.
No shit... why isn't THAT the top story.
It is critical that I point out this news story's source is CNN... not AP.
Even a $10 donation to somebody running against Norm can go a long way. Thanks for your comments hihi.
"They included an unsuccessful bid by Republican Sen. Norm Coleman of Minnesota, to bar the Federal Communications Commission from reinstating the so-called Fairness Doctrine that would require broadcasters to balance conservative and liberal content."
And if not, he should.
Well, wasn't the plot for the original Godzilla movies that Godzilla was America's fault because the fallout from our nukes made him?
If it turns out that a Japanese nuclear mistake makes Godzilla in real life, I would call that ironic.
Jesse is the best person ever! I like Jesse the most! Hooray! Also Paul.
I'm buying Jesse a pizza today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jesse just pointed out to me that the U of M front page has a story on this film right now. Apparently they're showing it:
Hi. I just clicked both links 10 times each. Send me a check for $2000 immediately or I will hire a collection agency.
What in the fuck.
That's what I said, booby traps.
Best bots EVAR!
Are the bots talking to eachother now?
I'm elevens about my nicknames.
I like that I am invited to please delete the messaage if it isn't interesting... but therein lies the problem.
He's a mankey man... how interesting!
Their ain't that many mistakes that I make that I can think of. Its rare that I make one. I don't never spel wrong, to.
You can buy Dani and me drinks when we're in the windy city. We both like free booze.
That's why we're dating eachother... cause we have so much in common!
No felines were harmed in the making of this website...
except for the two kittens we put in the blender for that photo.
Dani and I will probably be in Chicago looking at the fishies at the Shed Aquarium that weekend.
You are right...... it is two kittens in a blender.
I don't like crystal gripping hippies. Don't worry. :-*
I said I was a procrastinator, not an English major.... although, I can see where you'd get those two confused. OH SNAP!
It is also known as Natural Red 4, for those of you who wear lipstick.
A neglected blog. What the hell did you think it was?
reading? that word doesn't quite capture the obsessiveness.
This website is NOT! BLACK!
proposition someone for sex*
Thank god she was too drunk to enter the code correctly... or to try turning the knob the other direction.
I've heard the stories... but I didn't start working for the unions until 2002.
I forgot to mention the logging truck(!) parking me in at my apartment before I even left this morning.
She sure told you!
Only 25 more days to redesign my blog!
I think I can safely say for all of us...
-1 ? :(
Sounds like *somebody* got caught by my spam filter.
Let us always remember the Boston Terror Attack of 1-31-07!
Wall-to-wall Union Jack's? Don't tempt me...
Country of origin: Sweden.
That's all I care about.
My car tried to eat them!
I like how you are recanting on the deliciousness of pizza pringles as if that is what got you banned for life, not the calling me a fucking hick.
A special icon that nobody else can select, even!
Thanks a lot guys.
With friends like you Colin, who needs enemies.
You are banned.
The lasagna was fucking amazing. Sicilian girls rule!
What? Nothing says Happy Nude Year like seeing your friends naked.
This is one of my old favourite xmas videos:
Donald and his nephews in an epic snowball fight.
haha! I remember those! I didn't realise there was any connection?
Making love, Paul. Making love.
Not as of yet......
Seriously though... anybody know the answer?
I didn't buy the replacement.
// Snowmaker Copyright (c) 2003 Peter Gehrig. All rights reserved.
HOLY SHIT! Toejam and Earl came out on the Wii today! Now I really need one.
Happy belated birfday, sith!
I want a wii... maybe.
I was wrong about those centipedes only being in MN.
I think you picked the wrong icon...
You never buy me nice things anymore.
you know... the one you were probably seeing two of... two blurry images of.
The amount of drunk I require to sing publically is not conducive to driving. You though, I shoulda just signed you up for it like I said I was gonna.
Actually the real best part was that wasted soldier on leave who announced he was buying the entire bar a round, and went around annoying the people who didn't go up to the bar to collect on it.
We have a weiner!
I'd be more inclined if it wasn't for the certain unalienable death.
In 2000, Chipotle gave free burritos to people with the sticker. It was glorious.
It keeps getting better:
So that's where baby trees come from!
Ok, I'll admit theirs is funnier.
Now with 100% more accurate links.
Bush now has the right to declare martial law.
Jesse shared this with me, so I thought I'd pass it on to you:
LOOK AT THOSE PAWS AND WHISKERS! OMGZ!!!!!
I'm reluctant to post to my blog anymore because I never want this kitty picture to go away.
I'll give you a fired.
Insomuchas the people running the country right now are clowns, yes.
go fuck yourself *yawn*
No pouring one out for the homies who couldn't make it this year.
As if that weren't bad enough... my cable modem died and I didn't have internet at home for almost 48 hours.
El Oh El
Oh wait... he's saying SPIDER CIDER SPIDER CIDER?!?!
Definitely not a simple squid. Definitely some sort of eldar god.
Thanks corporate intern stooge guy.
Adam Green was looking disturbingly like this:
ooooh of course! MELT BANANA!
I have to say, Death From Above 1979 comes about as close as anything I got right now.
Oh Zach, you make the internets so funny. You're so smart and witty. Everybody loves you. You're so dreamy.
A classy, classy man.
Awww so sad... he's dead *AND* a failure.
Don't any of your friends you want to bring along own cars? MPLS is the shit, yo. We got party up here like WORD. Fucking Prince be up in here.
Weather could be anything from 40 to 80. It's Minnesota.
Costume ideas: Sexy Pirate... Drunken Pirate... Lazy Pirate (eye-patch + sword)
Pirates also enjoy ales.
Oh I think I meant this one:
"'Crocodile Hunter' Steve Irwin was videotaped pulling a poisonous stingray barb from his chest just before he died, according to news reports."
That is so fucking hardcore.
BREAKING: Steve Irwin Killed By Gigantic Cat
I don't know if this is real or not...
I'm not the only heartless bastard on earth:
(Thanks sith for finding that.)
Wow, Alison is going to London, too? What a coincidence!
That's where she lives, so probably yes.
She has these tattoos now... down both forearms are several bars of written music from a Clash song, and then she's got the outline of Minnesota with the Mississippi on her upper arm.
Then I'd be living in dirty hippy town, though.
I hope that comes out for the Wii, which is obviously going to be so much more awesome than the suxBox 3shitty.
Oh how I want to cut zombies up with chainsaws.
To not Zombiepubcrawl:
I love you guys. "I would do anything for brains!" Thanks for the personal message, I appreciate it.
You're right about one thing though: Pirates vs. Zombies... Zombies can't turn into pirates, but pirates can sure turn into zombies. It's the law of entropy man... everything ends up zombie in the end.
To not Pirate9:
I'm pretty sure I did -999, not -500... but how did you know it was me? Seriously? No really, I don't think my IP would be a giveaway?
Also, did it work? Did your code subtract the number? Just wondering.
You too could be carrying your own internal horrid evil twin. Always plotting against you it is.
And I thought my ass just hurt from my bike seat...
Jesse left me a drunk voice mail that basically amounts to squealing. Pretty amazing.
"The day I found out I was an adult Indigo will stay with me forever. I was walking hand in hand with my son down a Los Angeles street when this women approached me and said, 'You're an Indigo and your son is a Crystal.' I immediately replied, 'Yes!' and the woman smiled at me and walked away. I stood there for a moment, because I had no idea what the heck an Indigo and Crystal was, but I seemed so sure of it when I had blurted out 'Yes!'"
I asked about it originally in this thread because it was our usual toast in London. I can't quite remember if it was Amrish or Cole who taught it to me.
That's the rescue place's website.
P.S. This comment thread was HILARIOUS!!!!!
Appendix I: I don't think my knee appreciated the three impacts into water very much. Well, I mean my knee is either slightly injured and producing some fluid or the impact drove lake water into my knee.
Perhaps the fish tail protruding from the skin would be some indication.
To be fair you can only see one. Maybe the other is smooth like a baby's butt?
THAT'S ALL MAN, BABY!
one three punch...
Jesse: The secret word on Pee-Wee's Playhouse on Adult Swim tonight is "it."
Ruin my fucking life why don't everybody.
Shouldn't the message have been for the hey hey hey hey Mr. Postman then instead of for me?
It's like almost threatening in its tone... like they're going to come kick my ass if they get my mail again.
And mountain bikes are for fucking yuppie ass Gen-X'ers. DUDE! THAT'S SO EXTREME!
Yeah, I fucking said it.
Oh, and Schwinns just aren't as cool as my NEW FUCKING BMX BIKE.
I'm a fucking hooligan. You can't take a 10 speed frame off any sweet jumps... that shit will be a tangled wreck of fiery metal afterwards.
raaawwwwrt pieces of eight pieces of eight
I require a pirate outfit... an eyepatch, some raggity clothes. A HAT! I MUST HAVE A MAGNIFICENT HAT, FORTHWITH!
At least part of the night simply must be spent at Psycho Suzy's in Nordeast.
apropos of everything:
The date is official. More planning needs to be done now.
Just as soon as she's tuned up.
I named it hippiPodamus.
Oh, I got an iPod, too.
Man. God gives me a bmx bike for $20, and all it needs is a new front tire... whereas the ones I had been looking at were $200-300... and I'm complaining?
I'm sorry God. I don't deserve you.
I'm not dead, but my bike needs a new front tire.
God hates me.
I do need new sneakers.
I think I hate ice cream.
I don't have any of those things.
That is indeed what it means... but I could not place the Cr. You, Mal, are a genius.
Samsonite! I was way off.
ding ding ding we have a winner
I can't blog about anything that happened in Vegas. So, to be sure, a good time was had by all.
HomelandDefense link VERY VERY NSFW
See MythBusters last night?
No bombs.... buuuuuut, you might want to see a doctor.
There was a story awhile ago about female suicide bombers with bombs up their chachas.
Do you stick a bomb sniffing dog's nose in every girl's crotch? Or maybe you make them all squat and cough.
I'm staying across the street from the Bellagio.
Where are you going?
If the threat of my bottle of water is real, where's the fucking bomb squad to dispose of it. Think of the poor dump truck driver, getting paid less for a much worse job than the TSA guy, who is going to hit the compact button on his truck and get a piece of shrapnel in his ass.
Actually, my friend thinks this is just a promotional stunt for the World Trade Center movie.
It's funny to watch unqualified administrative types try to formulate plans. Serious comedy. There should be a degree program for disaster programming. You can't build bridges without an engineering degree. Why should the lives of millions of people be in the hands of people with horse breeding backgrounds.
I already look and smell like I use none of those things.
No, this was it?
yeah I want to see that, but I was holding out for going with Gray.
There are snakes on my mother friendly phone!
I was at the cornerstore
knew it had been robbed before
heard a shot out in the street
someone was dead meat
the body was on nicolet
so the cops didn't give a shit
and the shooter got away
Really I just want to see an undead alien dragging it's feet on the ground with it's tentacles outstretched moaning "KLAAAKTAAARRRRRSS!!!!" and then have the subtitle on the bottom of the screen say "BRRRAAAIIIINNNNSSSS!!!!"
Nobody said anything about them being mutants.
Also... technically... Pam is flat out wrong, and Jesse introduces an interesting point:
There are space aliens and then there are Mexican aliens.
Just like (PAM) there are space pirates and sea pirates and music pirates.
So we need really to call them space alien space pirate zombies. I think.
No... I guess it would have to be either alien space pirate zombies or space pirate zombie aliens...
I'm hurting my head.
Shouldn't that be space pirate alien zombies?
Hmmmm... ninja skills. Wow... just imagine the advancements in martial arts in an intelligent species that has been around tens of thousands of years longer than us.
Yes. Alien kung fu would surely be substantial.
Jesse and Paul are apparently too huge of jerks to pick a day.
Jesus Mary and Joseph this is funny:
"Why didn't you vote for Bush?"
I don't trust anything that bleeds for seven days and doesn't die.
Drink Like a Pirate [Every]Day
I need some commitment people. Call your mothers. Call your best friends. MAKE SURE THERE IS NOTHING YOU ARE GOING TO BE GONE FOR ON THE WEEKEND YOU PICK.
Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19, for the record.
Would the even longer jail time be worth stealing a car, and raising the Jolly Roger on it's antenna?
Would the jail time be worth burrying a chest full of Cap'n Morgan's Private Stock in the sand at Calhoun, and then sailing a hastily made raft across the lake from the opposite side to unburry and drink said booze on Drink Like a Pirate Day?
I'm more of an idea guy really... a dreamer. Don't take the wind out of my sails.
We need to start a film company. Or film division. Of another company... that we already started... sort of.
feelings are boring
kissing is awesome
You know that WE'RE throwing Drink Like a Pirate Day, right?!
We need to pick either September 16 or 23...
The one with legs tasted like calamari!!!!!! I just realised. Not real good, but not terrible.
Mutton. There's another one. Mutton is gross.
what a selfish asshat
I think I got pneumonia from the prednisone.
So, what did the doctor give me for my viral tonsil swelling illness?
Let's review, shall we?
"Prednisone is particularly effective as an immunosuppressant and affects virtually all of the immune system."
"Do not take prednisone if you have a serious bacterial, viral, or fungal infection. Prednisone weakens the body's immune response and thus its ability to fight infection."
WE NEVER SHOOK HANDS! NO DEAL!
Does Jacquie read xoplcom anymore?
"Hey baby, I kind of miss being sick now, why don't you come over and give me the BOOBonic plague."
I'm so very, very tempted at this point. I mean, who cares if I get dumped... who wants to date a girl who doesn't A) find that funny and 2) make with the boobery.
I seem to remember you being sick and leaking at both ends and missing work... and then on a separate occasion, not being sick but never-the-less seeing your spirit animal while on the toilet. Am I not remembering this clearly?
Are you sure?
Oh Eddie... you're so crazy.
I have to say this song is leaps and bounds better than "Party All the Time," and let us just never speak of "Whatzupwitu."
I was quizzing you on spelling. You passed.
More like White Zach Rackham...
ouch, I hurt my feelings.
Oh, I saw Trent at the show.
This is how it begins...
I LIKE MY NEW PIRATE THEME EVEN IF YOU DON'T!
He is the walrus! googoo goojoob
Post sources next time.
I think I regret this whole post. heh
blue footed boobies?
I've been peeing in my pants.
Yes. At my building.
I can't help but notice I'm not there.
paul found this:
If it makes you feel any better I ran into Serge again.
Way to prove their point, Pam.
Well, the number of the beast has also apparently been gotten wrong, and it is 616.
From the desk of the department of random coincidence, this just in:
They had a huge map of the world on the wall at the car dealership. I decided to look for Togo. Some strange woman knew right where it was because she used to date a guy from Togo.
I want that!
beautiful door; he had also, by the way, knocked out the secret mark that he had put there the morning before. Carefully! Carefully! he said. It is not like you, Bilbo, to keep friends waiting on the mat, and then open the door like a pop-gun! Let me introduce Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, and especially Thorin! At your service! said Bifur, Bofur, and Bombur standing in a row. Then they hung up two yellow hoods and a
find a use for it. Indeed I can! said the wizard. But share and share alike! You may find you have more needs than you expect. So they put the gold in bags and slung them on the ponies, who were not at all pleased about it. After that their going was slower, for most of the time they walked. But the land was green and there was much grass
I'm pretty sure the 22nd should be just fine.
"There and Cock Again, A Hard-On's Tale"
be potent wine to make a wood-elf drowsy; but this wine, it would seem, was the heady vintage of the great gardens of Dorwinion, not meant for his soldiers or his servants, but for the kings feasts only, and for smaller bowls, not for the butlers great flagons. Very soon the chief guard nodded his head, then he laid it on the table and fell fast asleep. The butler went on talking and laughing to
That's not going to work for me. I'll be in WI with my bruvva.
nothing left to do but to fill their water-skins at a clear spring they found close to the forest-gate, and unpack the ponies. They distributed the packages as fairly as they could, though Bilbo thought his lot was wearisomely heavy, and did not at all like the idea of trudging for miles and miles with all that on his back. Dont you worry! said Thorin. It will get lighter all too soon.
When are you coming to Minneapolis so we can have ourselves some real life?
Better than fucking a bookshelf... did I mention I saw the Squid and the Whale?
NOTHING WAS RESOLVED! NOTHING!
deal more than a nine days wonder. The legal bother, indeed, lasted for years. It was quite a long time before Mr. Baggins was in fact admitted to be alive again. The people who had got specially good bargains at the Sale took a
Very soon the chief guard had no keys, but Bilbo was trotting as fast as he could along the passage towards the cells. The great bunch seemed very heavy to his arms, and his heart was often in his mouth, in spite of his ring, for he could not prevent the keys from making every now and then a loud clink and clank, which put him all in a tremble. First he unlocked Balins door, and locked it again carefully as soon
flames. He shuddered; and very quickly he was plain Mr. Baggins of Bag-End, Under-Hill, again. He got up trembling. He had less than half a mind to fetch the lamp, and more than half a mind to pretend to, and go and hide behind the beer barrels in the cellar, and not come out again until all the dwarves had gone away. Suddenly he found that the music and the singing had stopped, and they were all looking at him with eyes
It occurs to me that given this information it should be exceedingly easy to catch cats.
stairs, and turned and went down wide echoing ways, and turned again and climbed yet more stairs, and yet more stairs again. These were smooth, cut out of the living rock broad and lair; and up, up, the dwarves went, and they met no sign of any living thing, only furtive shadows that fled from the approach of their torches fluttering in the draughts. The steps were not made, all the same, for hobbit-legs,
as soon as the door was open, just as if he had been invited. I see they have begun to arrive already, he said when he caught sight of Dwalins green hood hanging up. He hung his red one next to it, and Balin at your service! he said with his hand on his breast. Thank you! said Bilbo with a gasp. It was not the correct thing to say, but they have begun to arrive had flustered him badly. He liked
Hey! They sent me more! Pretty soon I'll have the whole book:
gained-well, you will see whether he gained anything in the end. The mother of our particular hobbit... what is a hobbit? I suppose hobbits need some description nowadays, since they have become rare and shy of the Big People, as they call us. They are (or were) a little people, about half our height, and smaller than the bearded Dwarves. Hobbits have no beards. There is little or no magic about them, except
Well, the spam WAS for penis drugs. But they usually include some text to throw off spam filters.
Yes, I do believe Japan hasn't been hit since that subway gassing thing because of their extensive toilet-cam network.
We don't like to use the term "spying."
Paul, if we don't put video cameras in womens' locker rooms, some female terrorists might plan their next attack under the surveillance radar!
There's another one! Right over Lake Michigan!
"The NSA told Qwest that other government agencies, including the FBI, CIA and DEA, also might have access to the database..."
Don't worry though, they're only looking for "terrorists."
Yes, get yourself lurned real good.
I dunno... maybe it was on the wikipedia or something
I was just googling my pet rat, and I discovered the super funny and odd fact that there is ALREADY a movie reviewer out there on the interlink named RatFacedKilla:
I'm so getting sued!!!
Funny, I didn't know there were an Republicans left in the North East...
Of all my posts that would suggest I'm messed up and in need of some help... why anyone would pick this one is beyond me.
I guess we know what the creepy camps are for now:
You were supposed to guest blog here. I suggested like three titles, which one did you go with?
Wasn't there some study showing that tinfoil hats actually amplify certain frequencies into the brain?
Somebody says 'lick' and Pam perks right up.
I dunno though... our govt is so bad at keeping secrets and so incompetent, how could they have pulled off a huge 9/11 style plot without anybody leaking it?
(Arguably, people HAVE leaked it, and everybody calls them crazy. Maybe I just answered my own question.)
Clearly the government is very interested in you for reading my blog. Enjoy the paranoia!
In all seriousness, I didn't completely agree with the video, but I do encourage you to actually watch this particular one before you go off dismissing the question entirely.
"Watchin' X-Files with no lights on, in le maison, I hope the Smoking Man's in this one."
As Christy pointed out, Wired and David Pogue of the NYT are full of shit:
Sure, this exact moment only happens once... then again every moment only happens once. However, there will be another 01:02:03 04/05/06 in 2106. And another in 2206. And so on.
Or the 2nd 01:02:03 04/05/06 today in the PM.
Or 06/05/04 03:02:01 coming up in May.
Wish I could answer that definitively.
The W3C standards are law as far as I'm concerned. Any rendering that doesn't follow the standards is a bug. Why the IE team should feel the same way, other than because standards are good for the industry... tough question.
Tom Delay is resigning.
I do know that... but my brain usually ignores such things when I'm rambling on about lambda functions.
Nevermind the fact that each <div> could have been given an id attribute that I would have had direct access to... that's too easy!
If any of you watched to the end of the video, you will hear Senator Roberts utter the cowardly words "You don't have any civil liberties if you are dead."
I have only one thing to say to that:
GIVE ME LIBERTY, OR GIVE ME DEATH.
Why, why should I be happy with it? Why shouldn't I push it? What's wrong with demanding more.
I forgot to mention the part where two tool saws snapped while trying to break the cable on the lift system. Pliers of various sizes made basically no dent. Big shop scissors, though? That's the ticket.
Shit. Now he really, really hates me.
Second piece of comment spam ever?
You ain't never lied.
woah there cowgirl save some for everyone else
That was a terrible movie.
Yeah. He's a flamer! And he's trying to start a flame war, too.
Didn't think so.
Ok, I just recompressed the video so it's 4MB instead of 11MB. If anybody can't watch it now, let me know.
That's not me.
Well, I tried out all the instruments that come with GarageBand and all the effects that come with iMovie... that was fun.
It doesn't really... I added that in.
What do you mean?
Can you say massive protests of any and all inaugrations where the voting is called into question?
If my new Apple isn't here by Friday night, I'm going to be the guy with the picket sign that says "Impeach FedEx"
Oh, you have no idea the glory I have in store for you all.
Bush wags the dog.
Did anyone notice Bush's grammar mistake?
"Illegal Immigrant Day"
Nice, Pam. Nice.
What happens if you trip over the one power cord plugged into the wall? heh
Well, I was going to write about the pimp I saw on Chicago and Franklin, but I wanted to be sure I wasn't picked up by the blogosphere again... I mean, it would have been a weird contrast.
Yeah, I have you in my calendar. Let's get crunked.
I made a clarification in my article. When I say "paper trail," it is NOT sufficient that the voting machine merely log the vote to paper after it has been cast. The voter MUST verify that the log of their vote is correct. Alternatively, the system could use paper ballots that are kept for recount purposes.
The "secret/propriety" argument that "keeping the machine secret makes them safer" is patently ridiculous. RSA, SSH, SSL, Blowfish, DES... all of the security and encryption standards everyone relies on daily are *all* OPEN standards.
Every time you do banking on the web, or buy stuff online with your credit card, you are protected with OPEN security standards.
If you use Firefox, and the web server you connect to uses Apache and OpenSSL (very common), then the entire transaction not only uses open security standards, but the whole entire thing is OPEN SOURCE.
Ask any computer security expert: secrecy never means security. It takes critical review by peers.
That's really not the end of the completely mind-boggling ridiculousness surrounding this whole thing. How in the HELL did machines that leave NO auditable paper record EVER make it into something as important as voting?
It doesn't fly for banks or hospitals or corporate records or anywhere else... so why voting?
Too true elvinator. Sadly, a common thread in computer security discussions is that people are always the weakest link.
I've kind of scared myself at the revelation that there may be yet ANOTHER computer involved after the computer that takes your vote. I haven't heard any real dicussion about securing those.
However, the people who are fighting the hardest for our rights are pushing paper ballot trails. If a computer somewhere in the middle got hacked, the paper would at least tell the truth in the recount.
What if the hackers just change say 1.5% of the votes on one of the aggregation computers? Would there even *be* a recount?
FURTHER ANALYSIS / DEVELOPMENTS:
Some of the reports on this subject suggest an entire precinct in Mahoning County collectively reported negative 25 million votes. Not just one machine.
What does this mean? Some possibilities:
1. Many machines were tampered with.
2. The aggregated total from the machines was tampered with.
3. The machine that aggregates the totals from the individual machines is *severely* prone to errors.
The first option is not very likely, however option number two is just as likely, if not more likely, than my initial assertion that a single machine was tampered with.
Afterall, the results of one machine could be ignored and easily written off a single faulty machine. Whereas, hacking the results of an entire district would certainly draw much more attention. And as I have stated, negative 25 million votes / positive 4 billion votes, is exactly how somebody with the ability would draw such attention. (I should explicitly note that whether it was an aggregate machine or an individual voting machine, my technical analysis of the encoding of integers remains accurate for both.)
Too bad the elections officials just tossed the count out and put it on the books as another bit of 2004 elections trivia.
This really begs the frightening question: What machine is totalling the votes from the individual machines, and what kind of vulnerabilities does *it* have?
Bringing 9/11 into this discussion just thins the waters of credibility around the very *real* problem of electronic voting machine failure and tampering.
I clearly said to *petition* your Congress members... nobody is talking about shooting anybody.
There is a helpful graphic on the front page of this website:
Some states have passed legislation requiring paper ballot trails, but there is still more work to be done.
I don't have a problem with dropping a few F-bombs... but when somebody posts something where every other word is fuck followed by either liberals, muslims, gays, or jews... I don't think that contributes much to humanity.
Thanks for your comments.
I saw the infrared ports... insult to injury.
I wish that the mainstream media would pick this up again. It's an almost taboo topic. If you talk about it you are still stuck in 2004, worse yet, 2000.
I didn't see any mainstream coverage of the Diebold coup in California, or its implications. It looks like CA is fight their Sec. of State on it? Good for them.
I'm happy I sparked even a little bit of netroots interest on the subject again (well, the blackboxvoting.org folks and others have continually been fighting the good fight) ... but I worry I'm preaching to the choir.
I'm going to try to get some version of this article published as an op ed in the local papers here. Gotta start somewhere.
Sorry, I missed that.
I hadn't heard of little Marvin until his name popped up in the comments today. Pretty interesting stuff. Off topic nonetheless.
We're not talking 911 conspiracy theory here, we're talking the very REAL issue of electronic voting machine failure. Let us highlight this distinction.
I invite and ENCOURAGE any counter arguments. Hell, I'd prefer to be wrong on this one. Not being able to trust our national elections is a sad belief to hold onto.
As I was saying, I invite debate... and the first such argument to be posted that DOESN'T turn into gay, Jewish, or Muslim bashing or employ near monolithic use of the word "fuck" will not be deleted by the Operator.
They don't have to "listen in" ... this is an open thread. They can just read it.
Well Masher1, you seem to feel strongly.
We are just the voice of one man or one woman. If you would also take the initiative to petition your own government to officially censure the Bush Administration, now THAT would make an impact.
If the people of Canada, Italy, Spain, etc spent as much time petitioning their representation to officially censure the Bush Administration as they do complaining about America, or as we Americans do writing OUR represenation, we may actually see the change in leadership our country, I feel, needs.
Did you ever think of that?
Well, that certainly paints a scary picture.
I would like to offer my moderating opinion and reminder that if these machines can error without intervention (they can), or worse yet be hacked, it doesn't take a conspiracy to defraud our elections.
For the record Masher1, I'm not into wholesale America bashing. There are a lot of good people here who do a lot of good things.
Well, I was trying to prove an entirely different point. But I understand what you are saying. Thanks for the feedback. Really the candidate is irrelevant to my argument, and I would have written the same article had Bush gotten the 4 billion votes.
I believe I've found the original source of the negative 25 million story:
"That led to some races showing votes of negative 25 million, [the Mahoning County Board of Elections agency's chairman] Munroe said."
"'The numbers were nonsensical so we knew there were problems,' he said."
Mr. Munroe actually seems to attribute the negative 25 million count to human error on the part of the poll workers.
"The human error specifically was precinct officials getting nervous or overwhelmed by the number of people voting, and then failing to properly follow protocol to count the ballots in the machine, he said."
I'm not sure I understand this. They were using touch screen systems in Mahoning County. What part would the poll workers have played in the count? How could any human error throw off the count by 4 billion / negative 25 million?!
Human error or hacking... it actually doesn't matter. This is pretty simple logic: if even one voting machine can malfunction and lose or miscount votes (and it was more like hundreds nationally), the entire election could be defrauded either intentionally or accidentally.
I'd like to point out that I think a less likely, but equally unacceptable alternative to the box being hacked would be that somewhere in the code the vote count is introduced with an uninitialized local variable. Many times when they tested this would have started at zero, and would have gone unnoticed. However, occasionally that uninitialized local variable would be *non* *zero* ... and the vote total would be off by whatever that value was.
They have enough money to have you killed.
Well, technically, it is some contributor to Google Video having a little fun at the expense of Google and the US Government. But, I still think it is shitty that Google even has this "feature."
In further proof that none of you exist, and I live in a world of make-believe... I just ran into Marissa downstairs... where she is working as a cook.
No, that wasn't her sister in Dallas.
That's ok... I have no idea when yours is or even how old you are.
What were you doing in Nebraska?
I'm pretty sure if he hadn't blown Jaws up that Jaws would want Bush impeached, too.
Oh, I think it's Robert Fuchs... I don't know... he wrote some classical music.
"and you smell like one too"
Get your monkey songs right!
The Feds are really starting to piss me off again already....
You are mistaking me for China.
I'M RICH! RICH I TELL YOU!
I still love you pam, even if you are Bush's girlfriend.
Here you go Pam, from the Reverends mouth...
TUCKER CARLSON: It's not hard to hear that [your remarks] and not draw the obvious conclusion that that's an attack on President Bush, which of course is your right to do, and I think completely fair. But again, it seemed very uncomfortable to say something like that in a funeral with the president right there. It seemed like bad manners.
REV. LOWERY: Well, I don't think so. I certainly didn't intend for it to be bad manners. I did intend for it to -- to call attention to the fact that Mrs. King spoke truth to power. And here was an opportunity to demonstrate how she spoke truth to power about this war and about all wars.
And I think that, in the context of the faith, out of which the movement grows, we have always opposed war. We've always fought poverty. And we base our -- our argument on -- on the faith, on the fact that Jesus taught us. He identified with the poor. "I was hungry; you didn't feed me. I was naked; you didn't clothe me. I was in prison; you didn't see about me." He talked about war. He talked about he who lives by the sword.
So I'm comfortable with the fact that I was reflecting on Mrs. King's tenacity against war, her determination to witness against war and to speak truth to power.
I agree. It was topical. Hell, Lowery was even mellow about it when you consider his history of kick ass oratory. I would just turned to Bush and said, "you are a fuck up."
If it wasn't an appropriate arena then why did the whole arena stand up and cheer.
You must live in the FRENCH speaking parts of Belgium...
I realise you guys just got broadband like last year, and you still can't afford it on account of your poor underpaying IT jobs, so you only have a few hours a day at the Internet Cafe to figure out this thing we call the "world wide web" ... so I forgive you for your ignorance.
BIDEN: Thank you very much.
General, how has this revelation damaged the program?
I'm almost confused by it but, I mean, it seems to presuppose that these very sophisticated Al Qaida folks didn't think we were intercepting their phone calls.
I mean, I'm a little confused. How did it damage this?
GONZALES: Well, Senator, I would first refer to the experts in the Intel Committee who are making that statement, first of all. I'm just the lawyer.
And so, when the director of the CIA says this should really damage our intel capabilities, I would defer to that statement. I think, based on my experience, it is true -- you would assume that the enemy is presuming that we are engaged in some kind of surveillance.
But if they're not reminded about it all the time in the newspapers and in stories, they sometimes forget.
They make my life a living hell almost daily, so forgive me if I don't feel the least bit bad about annoying them.
They look so cute when you scan them!
The world may never know.
The poop was just pooped. He put his hands on it and observed it's warmth and remarked with some joy that "this poop was just inside her butt!"
I've got a double layer.
uhhhh... you know... don't hold back man, tell us how you really feel...
I swear there really was a mountain lion...
Well, you just got past the first step for everyone... it should be easy from here on out.
Man this is an easy challenge and nobody has gotten it yet...
Wow. From your one comment this entire idea has just become a thousand-- NIGH, million! times more amazing in my mind.
CNN is reporting that Dayton did not vote for Alito.
Either xoplcom has infinite political power... or the radio was wrong when it said Dayton was going to support Alito.
He voted FOR the fillabuster... hopefully he won't puss out on the actual Alito vote.
DO IT! DO IT! We can make you a website and shit.
Paul pointed this out:
You wanna hang out with me when I'm drinking?
many a bra were tossed on stage
sssssshhhhhhh! They're listening.
...god, I used to be kidding when I said that.
They call it a "pouch" in the English translation. Specifically, they call in a "pouch" in a scene where like 30 raccoons stretch out the scrotum of one really old raccoon until it turns into a boat...
AND THEN THEY SAIL AWAY ON THE MAGICAL SCROTEBOAT.
I SWEAR TO GOD! REALLY!
it's in the comments of that dragon blog post... I should put it up on xoplcom
I actually made the dragon thing from the PDF. It's awesome.
Epilepsy Warning: That last one made me want to vomit.
I'm not Jesse, and Paul's not Jesse, so why are you addressing Jesse?
I told Kate and Jennifer and Collette where I was.
The top image links to the bOINGbOING post... I made the bottom image myself.
I wasn't... but I just took a muscle relaxant... so we'll see.
Fighting about abortions and foreign policy and economics is a waste of time when you can't trust the voting system.
I was watching Old School just an hour before you blogged that... weird man. Just weird.
I would never date a girl named Linda.
Actually, that would be why I haven't been blogging.
I could blog about how much my fucking back hurts and how I'm going to the doctor tomorrow.
...it comes and go-oo-oo-ooes...
Lawsuit targets Million Dollar Homepage for being offline for 6 days:
P.S. A successful as the War on Drugs has been, a War on Porn is just what we need.
SHIT! I just thought of a better title:
(karma karma karma karma) karma killmillion
The dude's got at least 4 websites I've found... they all look like something a 14 year old shat in 1997.
Journalist James Bamford, a plaintiff and author of "The Puzzle Palace: A Report on NSA, America's Most Secret Agency," said that "the spying program removes a necessary firewall that would prevent the kind of government abuse seen during the Watergate scandal."
Some people use the excuse, "hey, if you don't have anything to hide then who cares if they are spying on you? It keeps us safe."
What they fail to realise is, in addition to that argument being completely assinine and unAmerican, it's not really about the spying so much as the spying being illegal. And if we let the government do illegal things "to keep us save" it makes it very easy for them to abuse power by parallel arguments in a myriad of other ways.
Mulder's poster has gotten an upgrade...
Like anybody fact checks anymore! Lie all you want.
Your commenting appear to be broken.
That's it, I'm shopping at the markets on Nicolet for my noodle needs from now on.
That's more of 3a. than 4.
P.S. They tasted like SHIT.
We have a weiner.
But what does it say?
And to my mom, probably, too.
Appologies to my sister, fantastic brother-in-law, and my lovely niece and nephew.
grrrrrrreat... I'm so glad that's on the internet.
Reminder: The theme of Pam's NYE Party was "Offensive Shirts."
I suppose I could get the cameraphone pics from the aquarium onto my blog.
Technology is great... except for that I have to wait to get home and onto my real computer in order to see how screwed up my entry was and fix it.
Anybody got any New Year's Resolutions?
So is Paul!
Why the hell are they wearing U of M polos?
Keith Schofield is a goddamned GENIUS.
DUUUUUUUUUH! Why'd you think I got it for xmas?
My analysis, that it was wholesale spying, was correct:
I have to imagine they got me on their shit list already.
Not really. Maybe if you are afraid of touching ice.
I can probably accomodate that...
I really enjoy how they are saying that if they had the same kind of sweeping Patriot Act-like powers in place before 9/11 they'd have been able to stop it.
And in the same breath they say they are only spying on known terrorists.
Ummm... you obviously either didn't know about the terrorists who attacked us on 9/11, and therefore wouldn't have been spying on them if you could... OR, you *did* know, but you didn't do anything.
I seem to remember a certain investigation finding out the latter was the case. I seem to remember a certain administration pointing to communications problems between intelligence agencies.
Gathering wasn't the problem. Sharing and acting was the problem.
Or how about legislation to break your TV, your VCR, your DVD player, and your computer. Good for the MPAA/RIAA... bad for you, their constituent.
Don't elect these people.
Apparently, your Senators and House Reps gave Bush the A-OK.
Bush won't be taking a fall for this.
I can't say this is real surprising considering your Congress attaches ANWR drilling riders to defense bills and legislates in such a way that will maintain the two party duopoly and legislates pro-corporate (MPAA/RIAA legislation for example) at the expense of their constituents' best interests.
How about the bankruptsy law changes to benefit the credit card industry?
It's time to start voting third party.
This one was worth reading.
Bush committed a felony. How much simpler does it need to be?
In the world of Futurama Santa is a murderous robot.
Finals are so... final.
Apparently I'm the worst Risk player ever.
Oh, tomorrow is Bill of Rights Day, a National Holiday.
The Ninth Amendment is really the most interesting:
"The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people."
I STILL HAVEN'T SEEN HARRY POTTER!
Hey ma, I'm startin' to like this kid.
"I knew you were going to say that."
How about 30 seconds?
Where's my 500 words?!
Wait, I think he called you *a* drunk, but did he say you were drunk?
P.S. I think I'm spending all weekend in the mall.
I've already gotten two! One from Radio K, and one from my next door neighbors for helping them carry in their groceries.
YAY! When are we going?
Whatever, then they tell on me.
No TPS Reports for me... just fixing the 500 broken uses of GAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAABE's submitform().
(I hope he reads this!)
Whatever, shouldn't YOU be working? Why do you need a pseudonym? Everybody who reads these comments will know it's you already.
Hmmm... if you want to go that route I know I've got some good word plays written down at home in my list of potential blog article titles... like, "Accidental Southern Exposure."
"Prettiest Mess You've Ever Seen" really ain't bad... a bit long though. OOH! How about just "Prettiest Mess?" I really like that.
Only one of the women I've dated in the last four years even knows I have a blog.
"Lovers' Logorrhea" How about that?
I expect 500 words on my desk by morning.
I suggest a regular column on xopl.com, Pam. Or maybe a serial.
P.S. All URLs are automatically link-a-fied, Jesse.
I think he's saying it isn't as trite as the usual live journal fare...
It isn't hard to find... besides, I got your invitation.
Sweet, we're all right there on the right path together.
Alcoholism is no laughing matter... unless the alcoholic is a clown.
Not as funny in Safari...
When did I ever give you any indication that I'd care if I did terrify them?
We didn't have Scrabble so me and my sister played Jenga Ship instead. That's right, Jenga + Battle Ship. Although, the plan is to go buy Scrabble so that we can actually play Scrabble Ship.
"You sank my Scrabble Ship!"
"This game makes no sense."
Stop leaving messages on my answering machine. It's not that I'm not home, I'm just not picking up.
P.S. wunderground has had a flu map for years.
You may not have realised that while I did edit the above comic, I sure didn't edit it much...
And we were all proud that we came up with that name for it............ (...)
Jesse found that photo on the interlink for me. I didn't even know he was here. What kind of minions don't notify their overlord of these things in a timely manner, HUH? I'm looking at you Paul and Jesse.
I do? Somebody should have told me...
I had to pay for them. But it was buy one get one free! And, if I'm going to be wearing glasses instead of contacts from now on, and considering my old frames were fucked, I decided to drop the bills on some sweet new rims. Spinnaz. Word.
OH. MY. GOD.
Did anyone see Family Guy tonight? The incredibly awkward spoof of the most awkward scene from Little Shop of Horrors? You know the one with the weird surrealism and the "Somewhere that's green" song? Incredible.
I love coincidences like this. I strongly believe that they are a sign that at that moment you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
Alternate title: Spex Appeal
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww girl germs
All the times you pulled my ears?
If you were working at work you could read my blog in the evening!
No they aren't... my stats haven't increased at all.
I do feel a little guilty about being blog of the day without ANY CONTENT.
It turns out that aluminum foil hats might actually serve to INCREASE the ability of the government to brain wash you.
Dover, Pennsylvania...... there's a Dover in PA?
I fricken TOLD you Apple dropped the ball:
More good news: eight school board members in Dover, Delware who were pro-creationism got voted off the board.
Vikings are just Scandinavian pirates. I had my wanderlust figured out... now I understand the rest of my behaviour.
telnet was grand.
Speaking of which...
GM (or was it GE?) is moving 25,000 jobs to Canada. Why? Because they don't have to pay for workers' health care. We need a national health care plan.
Kind of reminds me of my thoughts here:
Despite MPR's efforts, there was a huge turnout. I'd say about 1000 protesters judging by the amazing size of the marching line as they left Coffman. Counter-protesters numbered low, as they were the half dozen or so people leftover. There were two police horsies that I watched go up and down stairs on the bridge over Washington Ave. I didn't know horses would do that.
I just ate my last peanut butter cup :-(
That's high on the funny.... GUAVAS!!!!!!!!
I stepped on the firebowl screen six-seven times. I wasn't even going to say anything.
As for my story, when there is no cohesion or mood because of the constant interruption and giggling from the beginning, yeah... it's not going to work. I've scared to bajesus out of many a folk with that there story. ...I shouldn't have even bothered.
I almost felt bad about the punkins when I read that they were homegrown. Almost.
sith is the awesome
HAHAAH! Peter just be-friended me during his DJ shift! Now he's playing me a song, which he dedicated to "Zach ecks-opl-uh, better luck getting a real name."
I hope he joins the group so I can officer him as 'Arch-Nemesis.'
I got invited. I didn't go.
Well, Ryan Lubinski vanity googled himself and found my website. Somebody googled Elissa Mahlik and got to my site, but I don't know that it was her for sure like I know it was Ryan.
Actually, I was vanity googling myself... or maybe it was technorati... but anyway, I found your link to me. Otherwise I'd have no idea where your blog even was.
P.S. That's the worst attempt at HTML I've ever seen. Is that a semi-colon? To think I used to make out with you! I have to shower...
I haven't carved my one punkin yet, but I shall post a picture when I'm done. I usually go with something creepy, and usually Nightmare Before Christmas inspired.
Actually, I have a bunch of Halloween photos that never made it online. Mostly because I neglect my blog if I'm having lots of fun doing Halloween things.
Why wouldn't you post that comment in the Decemberists thread?
Speaking of movies... Prince of Darkness... what is half of the cast, and most of the characters, from Big Trouble in Little China doing in a B horror movie? And Dr. Loomis is the priest!
<angel's singing> http://www.xopl.com/blog/rss/ </angel's singing>
<penis joke>So am I.</penis joke>
Paul claims it wasn't him.
Original source of that video:
Most critical hand: 74747
Do you, uhhh, zombie here often?
Lindsey's at the City Pages chimes in:
Oh, and I heard that Cannibal Holocaust was supposed to be the goriest movie ever. I saw that at the Uptown. It would be an interesting comparison.
I might be interested... You should suggest the idea in this thread, too:
That film is of classical stature. I have not seen it either.
Which one is you?
P.S. Anybody know what zombiewaitress meant by "again in spring?"
The best photos of the drip yet... and also my ketchup facial:
KATE! Yes, that's right.
Jesse found some more photos.
Printer Dots Decoded! Frame your friends!
It's all good. Even I didn't know I was missing!
That girl in white, in the center of the photo, that is a girl from the dorms from freshman year who recognised me. I thought she looked familiar. She told me her name, and I forgot it and asked her if her name was Jennifer, which is wasn't. Damnit, I can't remember it again. Fuck. I was talking to her when I got split up from the rest of you.
WOW! I'd never had thought that was possible.
On a side note, the inner city kids wanted to know why we were ruining our clothes.
Jesse found some more photos!
THE KETCHUP!!!! OMFGLOLX0RSADJFKADSJ! I was pretending to put ketchup on myself for more fake blood and Jesse gave it a huge squeeze and covered me in it. I got a mouth full.
Of course, like any respectable person, I swallowed.
HOT DOG VENDOR!
sweet delicious braaaaaaaaaaaaains
Well, whatever it was... it's gone. The only reason I even know they were in my apartment (besides the fact the animal detritus is cleaned out) is that my lamp was moved. Way to not leave any receipt guys.
Hmmm... but I see feathers in there.
ahhhhhhhh! That explains the odd odour that developed about a month ago when I would run the A/C. It smelled an awful lot like cat piss, but I figured it was probably mold or mildew growing in the A/C since it is obviously old. Turns out, it actually <em>is</em> piss. From the smell, it must be a rodent and not a bird. It's all clear now.
If I saw a Petzold in Minneapolis, that would be kuh-raazy!
Czech out Emiliana Torrini... beautiful singer/songwriter. Probably more up your alley than Feist.
Maria from Metropolis... you're supposed to say that.
Jesse's response to my Photoshop:
md5( original ) == md5( photoshopped )
If you'd like to add an item to my social calendar, go ahead and leave a comment.
I suppose it could be "You're weaving braids out the back of my head." I don't know what either has to do with gnomes.
"You're eating brains out the back of my head. Oh yeah, that's where the money is."
I'm sorry? What? The Spinto Band is on crack.
Scummy bars aren't scummy, they are homey... and you call them "dive bars." The alternative is an expensive commercial corporate owned bar where the girls are still slutty but they are also gold digging air heads.
And I don't even know what you're talking about since I didn't bring a girl home Friday or Saturday. Though, I have to say, nailing slutty bar tramps could be more fulfilling than going to the bar and not nailing the slutty bar tramps.
Yes, but you drink a lot of tea.
Face it teatotaller... all your idols were alcoholics.
I took the chore tool down since we've all moved out of Apartment #4.
I NEED CAPITAL!
Dear Kingdom of Loathing users who come here looking for how to kill that pesky Golbin King,
I don't know the right way to do it, but I can tell you how I did it: I couldn't hit him with my gnollish autoplunger, so I put on an acid-spitting flower or whatever. Every round I just healed myself, and the flower did the damage for me. Slowly but surely.
Dear guy who found my site by searching for 'trent reznor mario world,'
I have heard the alleged mp3 with NIN playing the mario "cave music." That's all I know.
I was just testing.
Fucking spooky.... all that destiny shit I was just spouting, and then iTunes randomly picks this song I've never actually ever listened to before... whose opening two lines start just as I need some lyrics for my blog entry... and they happen to be the story of my life.
Then the song itself is basically the story of Di and I.
shit eating fuck pies
Of course they are snobby... Londoners are better than us in every possible way.
Dear bouncer at Williams: I will slit your throat and FUCK the hole.
Oh. Don't mind Christy. She had some sand in her vagina.
Burnette said the zoo took pointers from the Miami zoo after deadly Hurricane Andrew struck in 1992, then the costliest natural disaster in U.S. history.
"We have worked closely with Miami MetroZoo ever since Hurricane Andrew, and we totally revised our hurricane plan after talking to them. We have a protocol we go through whenever we know something's brewing," she said.
So the zoo people have done research and developed a plan to save the zoo animals... but the feds can't do the same for people.
Were those reported explosions actually the army bombing certain levees to flood the non-tourist parts of town?
Are they keeping the fringe press out?
Are they keeping the black people hostage?
Yes, to all three.
I actually approve of this statement:
"Lt. Gen. Russel Horne told CNN the task of removing people against their will was a law enforcement job and that the military would continue to deliver food and water to the survivors still in the city."
I think that is smart for the military to be careful of what role it is pulled into, even if the local cops do need help getting people to leave the city.
I can't believe these politicians are spinning this to avoid taking the blame. You have no idea how angry that makes me. These are people elected by us, and are accountable to us, and the only reason they have a job at all is to hold our society together. And then when they fail, they push the blame around to protect their political party? This is not ok.
If you're going to watch one pissed off reporter's editorial this year... here's the one:
The US government should be forbidden from producing any content whatsoever that can only be accessed via proprietary means. Especially when it comes to emergencies. Right now important parts of FEMA's website are only usable with IE6 on Windows. Everybody at FEMA needs to be fired.
Black people loot.
White people find.
"The world saw this tidal wave of disaster" hit the Gulf Coast, Bush said at the Red Cross center. "Now they're going to see a tidal wave of compassion."
Despite the discomfort, guests like Noel Rowell stay put. He has no gas and no money, so he, his girlfriend and three children do the only thing they can: "We're sitting back, waiting for the United States of America to take care of us."
Our officers have been urinating and defecating in the basement of Harrah's Casino," Police Superintendent Eddie Compass said last week. "They have been going in stores to feed themselves."
too fucking little, too fucking late
"They killed a man here last night," Steve Banka, 28, told the Reuters news agency before he left on Sunday.
A body lies face down in water next to the Superdome. Death was everywhere, both inside and outside the Superdome
"A young lady was being raped and stabbed. And the sounds of her screaming got to this man and so he ran out into the street to get help from troops, to try to flag down a passing truck of them. He jumped up on the truck's windscreen and they shot him dead," Mr Banka said.
With the government falling on its face to help people when WE KNEW there was a hurricane coming... what does that tell us about our homeland security, and what would happen if a city was nuked or dirty bombed or biologically attacked, etc. It tells us that city would be royally and totally fucked.
Me to Radio K: You should play Fats Domino.
Radio K: Our Fats Domino CD was stolen.
Me: ain't that a shame...
Apparently Fats Domino is missing... I didn't even know he was still alive in the first place.
Let's hope he was finding his thrill up on blueberry hill, above floodwater levels.
Whatever... they've got it all solved. The day is saved.
And they pay taxes. We pay taxes for them. Why should we have to donate shit? Where's the fucking Federal and State governments?
AND, maybe rather than saying the various coastal protection/restoration programs were "too expensive" we could have spent a *tiny* *fraction* of what the cleanup, rescue, and rebuild costs will be on some prevention.
Sweethearts, not bleeding hearts, eh? Let us not forget that these are all red states... they voted for Bush... who was smiling and playing guitar yesterday for a press photo. Dick.
All these relief efforts are total bullshit as well. If there is one thing you learn from relief efforts, it is that most of the perishables (food/blood) are thrown away, and much of the money is wasted/lost/imbezzled. Money and food aren't going to do a damn thing... we need people to actually start BRINGING the damn supplies to the people. Get in your fucking boats and drive over there. How hard can this be? Commandeer some civilian vessels that are close, fill them up with food commandeered from stores... and get the job done. People are dying RIGHT NOW. Hundreds, if not thousands, of people were just dumped at the Superdome and Conference Center without supplies or help or officials to keep order.
They are telling people to wait. That help is on the way. That it takes time for the boats and helicopters and trucks to get down there...
THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN READY AS SOON AS THE STORM HIT.
Bush will try to tell you nobody thought it would be this bad. That's fucking bullshit. *ALL* the experts said this is EXACTLY what would happen if New Orleans got hit with a Cat4/5 hurricane.
Bush will tell you that this isn't the time to be political. This isn't the time to point fingers. What a fucking cop-out. Maybe if he hadn't cut hurricane/food project funding to fund the war on terrorism we'd be better off right now.
Bush needs to go... his whole administration needs to go. Everybody is like "pull our troops out of Iraq Bush." Well you know what? We can't do that. We're fucked and now we have to stay in Iraq. But what we DON'T have to do is keep these fuck-ups as our executive branch. Bush is right, we can't take our troops out of Iraq... but he's not the one who should lead them anymore. He got us into that fucking mess for all the wrong reasons, with all the wrong foresight. He failed. Flat out failed. He needs to resign, and let someone else lead our forces over there. That is the happy medium.. the compromise. The troops stay, Bush goes.
WTF does that have to do with the hurricane? Nothing at all. But Bush's fuckup on the hurricane is reason number 2 he should resign.
I for one welcome........
iPods? Signs of the apocalypse? That about the stupidest sign of the apocalypse I've heard all day.
iPod != yuppy
I don't believe you. What song are you talking about?
Fuck. That sucks. Every girl I know has all her CDs stolen out of her car. Moral of the story girls: don't leave your CDs in your car.
Broke into? How?
iiii juuuust caaaan't reeeee meeeem beeeer
That's hilarious. I was just like, "I should make the Wedge a website and make use of the spiffy .coop TLD... wedge.coop." Turns out they are way ahead of me:
I just coined a new word! "Nergin" = nerd virgin
I've been watching a lot of Modern Marvels. I love shows about engineering. I wish they were even more in depth than they are. I used to draw very complex bridges, vehicles, buildings, and so on when I was a kid. If I was a bit more patient, I think I could have made a fine engineer. For now I'll satisfy my hunger with Legos.
And he actually was talking about her cat!
I'm hardly ever in there. Leone leaves me ESP mail, but I always miss her.
I've very good... very busy... new apartment, new job, and so on. No cats, though. Don't ducks eat cats? Or at least don't fuggly's?
Wow! Fuggs! LTNS man. Glad you found me... not that I made it very hard. How's you?
Oh Em Gee Double-Yoo Tee Eff Colin is dreaming about talking to Christy on the phone.
You said, 'grass!' haha
Hmmm... I should pass this on to the LL peoples. I should also add a link to the Radio K stream on their website.
Also, I keep a lot of things secret, because I don't usually want to pollute my creative process by letting others give their input. I like to see where I can get on my own before getting help.
Wow, sweet. It used to just crash horribly... at least now you get a message.
You can't just say that... elaborate... tell us more!!
the salsa is for my leaving boss
I beat that Goblin King fucker! Then I summoned some noodles out of thin air and ate me some spicey ramen.
I have to make salsa Wednesday night, but other than that I'm free.
I'm interviewing Oneida on Tuesday.
I ran my dishwasher for the first time last night. Dish. Washer. It does my dishes for me, maaaaaaaaan.
And your building caught on fire. Sarah was all, "here's music I'm leaving."
Fixed another long time misstep on my part. You can now put any <!-- characters <b> you want </div> into your comments.
You tried. That is all that is really important. I'm routing for you Chirpy `JR' to the second power!
Sorry. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
Well yeah... hashes only work if the message is the same... if you post, change the message and post again, of course it is gonna show up.
meh, my bad for leaving a bug like that around. I just can't believe it took so long for anybody to run across it, and then so many of you did in such a small amount of time.
well... whatever... it should be fixed now.
ok... seriously... over a year of blogging, and then three of you double post back to back to back in a week's time? What the fuck?
Those shirts are nice and all, but I bought this shirt today, which totally Trumps anything else. I went for the military green.
Duuuude... the three of us need to take over MLC coup style! I got the clothes for it!
My relation to Hanson is explained fully here:
P.S. Welcome aboard new reader.
I also find it interesting that two people in a row broke the thing that I should fix by using a hash. Hmmmm. I really should fix that.
She was hot... and better than Uma in at least three dimensions, I agree.
As for search... google does a way better job than I ever could. Just go to google, type in your search, and follow it with site:xopl.com, and you'll get everything you ever wanted and more.
What... the hash? Eat the hash?
which is exactly why - precisely why - I should hash comments
I should hash comments... then I could tell users that they are trying to post the same comment.
Does the pope shit in the woods?
I didn't say it was my first time at the MIA.
For once sith, I agree 100%.
I really should turn off anonymous posting. Or start showing IPs.
There was a bona fide puppet show in the lawn of my favourite neighborhood house today. Twenty plus kids and clowns.
Ok... I'm calling off the contest. Nobody won. $46.16 was the right answer. Thanks for playing.
you can earn more turns... xz built a maid for camp that gives away turns... not to mention eating/drinking gives you more turns.
have you joined our clan? you get lots of meat and knowledge for free if yer in a clan. 500 meat to be exact... a day.
ketchup on the blade?! GENIUS!
Place your final bets.
no dollars and very, very few quarters.
Ok, it's less than $74.33...
I was bitchin' for days to pam over IM about those fucking rats. But once you beat them you can go on benders in that bar. Hardcore benders. Need any equipment? I got lots of extra shite.
I thought you were maybe "danman" in our clan. But then again, that didn't sound anything like a name you'd pick.
indifferenceMan on the other hand...
p.s. you're all too low.
WOW! My first comment spam ever!
Why their bot picked this entry, who knows!
Let's hope more bots don't follow... or they will ruin anonymous posting for everyone.
kingdom of loathing dot com of course
Come play Kingdom of Loathing... that's more fun than blogs.
I'll be in the woods for the weekend... all adventuring will have to wait til Monday... of course I'll have tons of them saved up by then.
Did you know that a cube 14.2 inches to a side of solid gold weights 2,000 pounds?
This would be the second show dedicated to metal I've seen on the History Channel today. During lunch they were teaching me about Aluminium. I also learned there is a frogger coin-op in the basement at work.
I justed added Belinda the Blind, an accordian thief, yesterday. She's only level two. I think you have to be level 3 to join a clan, and level 5(?) to start one up? We should definitely have a clan, though.
I just got me a viking helmet just now.
Oh, and I'm apparently in goofballs withdrawl for the next 100 rounds. Damnit. I knew I shouldn't have eaten those.
I'm a level 3 pastamancer (noodle neophyte).
I have a six pound mosquito familiar named Gog of the Forest.
I've got extra items: spooky stick, oriole headdress, saucepan hat, knobgoblin pants (I'm wearing bugbear bungguard pants).
I don't know what to do with most of what I have.
FairyWhite the Gay
I made the mistake of getting my character really, really drunk yesterday. Turns out you can't do much but hurt yourself in that state.
It's pretty much a learning experience every day.
When I went golfing yesterday we got carts and were spinning out proper 360's in the wet grass, and then Ryan drove straight through the middle of this double jetted industrial sprinkler. I got par on one hole. Today I sat in a meeting all day. The end.
Yeah, those are pretty durn cool.
Going out raging tonight... hopefully there will be reportable shenanigans. I spent the day at the pool in Edina. Tube slide, zip line, and high dive excellence. No A/C here in the house you see. I saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory last night. Meh.
I ate at the Leaning Tower over on University... their phone number ends in 7474, their happy hour is 4-7, then I saw a girl int he parking lot with a tshirt that had 74 on it... I just looked up... 7:40
Seriously... what the fuck... since when was NIN all about home furniture commercials?
I got my prompt working! sed was the solution.
And don't miss JemCon in Minneapolis this Saturday.
worst day of my life
It's in St. Piggity... what's it called sith?
I spent my lunch hour on the phone with landlords.
yeah at least sith loves me
Holy shitballs.... my roomie just got home from his TCF corporate job.... at 11:30pm. They had him come in early today, too. At 7am. They want him in at 7 again tomorrow.
good, now I get mr. sexy all to my self!
Then the sith is gonna watch me pick out a new mobile?
oh... my pizza was on the menu as follows (sith):
supreme pizza (the totally awesome)
way to rub it in that you are going to my favourite beer place when my tummy isn't ready for beer yet. it is you who are the suck.
I forgot to mention a great anecdote from shopping: I was in this store, and their racks made me bleed. I asked for a bandaid and the guy was like, "we don't have any." Then I said, "I'll bleed all over your merchandise." Then he was all, "Hold on," and he got me a bandaid. Dumbass. You didn't think that one through did you?
Now that I'm a working man.. up before 7... excuse excuse blah blah blah...
right, chicago, blog, rsn.
I'll start IMing from work when I'm settled. That ain't gon' be fer a while.
good mourning kids! so... I spent like half my first paycheque already. awesome!
that was intentional
hmmmmm... I don't think 29 is too young for 33. But that is a different four years than 19 to 23. Unless of course you guys met several years ago.... then you might be on to something.
My boss... not my old boss, but my new higher up boss... she sent an email out today about our staff retreat. She told me I couldn't order booze as part of this group email, as if to suggest I'd be trying to order booze at lunch at a business function. Everybody got a copy of this. What am I? The office lush?
I left my last shift an hour early. hehe. Nothing really happened. Pretty boring last shift. No more grocery science for me.
You can blame the sith for that. I was looking for Pedro Almodóvar films, of which there were none anywhere, and sith was all, "This one is from Spain."
Check out? Girls? Nooooo. I'm just looking to see if they are wearing cuter shoes than me.
I am 23 years old. I am 6'2" 170 lbs. Blue eyes. Blond-ish hair. The radioactive pill has no side affects.... well, except for the very major one of making me temporarily radioactive.
NOBODY WAS SUPPOSED TO READ THAT FAR!!!!
LONGEST. BLOG. EVER.
tons to report... news at 4, 3 central.
deviled ham... aisle 6
...excuse me ...sorry ...I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
Anaconda's think capybara are delicious!
They domesticated the guinea pig (one N I guess) for food in Peru. It is in the wikipedia.
Sure... they roam free in Peru... or used to.
Worst. Comment. Ever.
You play quarters? Shit... if I'd had known that I'd have gotten you so friggen wasted. We played speed quarters like every day in London. I'm a goddamn pro.
she'd turn your ass to stone or rubber
This is pretty damn fun. I got 8/10.
"by the time they pulled it out, I was usually too drunk to remember my own name."
You didn't really just say that... did you?
If you wanted to make any large purchases, just imagine how long you'd be pulling twenties out of that wallet. And again the IRS would be curious.
where did you learn that one?
that reminds me of my favourite toast!
oh, the scale said I was one hundred and 74.
Does God know you escaped from heaven?
I dunno Christy, you must look made of money.
Be a man and ask her in person you twit.
I ain't making a custom chicago blog... I'm just gonna blog chicago here.... maybe
I haven't heard anything at all... that can't be a good sign either can it?
Yeah, I've had them do that to me when I handed in my app the first day.... didn't you say the department can request your application from OHR?
yeah and you'll get a couch that somebody died on after one of those drive-bys. I don't think all Ikea couches are shit... just the lowest of the low end.
I K E A
dibs on the couch!
Christy, you already heard most of the details of Chicago anyway.
don't go chasing waterfalls just stick to the rivers and the lakes that you're used to
Ok, I'll add that next to your name that is already in iCal.
Dang... I was at work. I'll be in Chicago til like Wednesday or Thursday.
Nice... well, there may be an opportunity the night of June 15th... maybe.
I don't know why I forget to blog about some of the most obvious things. Like the sitting in that park in the 80 degree sun reading "Haunted" until Christy finally came to give me a ride entirely too late. ;-) I still am surprised all those young mom's (turns out that neighborhood is MILF central) didn't call the cops on this weird guy hanging out in their park.
He's not really poor... and soon I won't be either. You shoulda hung out with me and I coulda told you all about it.
I did. Thanks for the sodie-pop.
I don't get a congratulations for my drinking? I always knew he was your favourite! [sniffle]
Irish Whiskey Highballs are damn good.
Actually, I think the term should be "TruBlogger" andSPIDER!!!shitshitSPIDErpisderSPIDerok that was close, phwew... one of them outside jumping kind.
clever double negative... dude, I totally called him. shut up.
uh, the film slackers? nothing to do with quantum anything as far as I remember.
So, you are saying you won the powerball?
As each quantum interaction takes place, and each new universe is spawned, there exists a copy of me in many of these universes. I am me now, and they are me if something slightly different had happened just then. The transition into a parallel universe isn't a conscious endeavor. I can't choose to be in the universe where I won the powerball, because I (plural) am in fact in the universes where I did and where I didn't right now, both. Some other Zach isn't writing this right now, because he's off spending big wads of cash. And, some other Zach is dead from a meteor strike. I am this Zach who is here right now, taking comfort in the fact that there is another Zach right now who is ridiculously happy. Next time something good happens to "me" I will laugh at that poor bastard copy of me in the universe where that thing didn't happen.
ok, this is really hurting my head right now. I'm pretty sure the moral of the story is: everything that happens to me is up to me, because if I for instance hit my thumb with a hammer, I'm pretty sure I'll end up in the universe where it hurts. Short of that, wondering how the continuity works is painful.
go fuck yourself
Favourite swear word, ready go:
If you haven't gone through the entire new york blog yet you better not be complaining about the lack of updates.
down the memory hole
Nice job on comment 747.
And yes, you can use it to find drug buying locations.
Especially considering your comment was comment #740.
I keep getting preapproved cards in the mail... I should get a new one just for London.
Sure... me and all my money...
hey hey HEY... other websites make MONEY doing worse matchmaking than this. Cough up the cash you two.
What flavour of non-eurotrash? And when can I come by?
In theory I just start taking fake thyroid pills.
God, go to bed. It's almost 5:00.
There were a bunch of cute little fuzzy yellow goslings down on the river flats. Mama and papa goose hissed at me. Oh, and I lost my damned cheque card.
I've got that. Don't worry.
I started to play one of our two copies (one is sith33's) of FFII (I wanted to play them in order afterall) but I got distracted by something (it might have been beating Super Mario World or starting a game of Zelda 64 which I also didn't finish. I did beat Super Mario World though. Awesome game. I also beat Dragon Warrior, Zelda I, Zelda 3, and maybe something else... can't remember... during college.)
I beat FFI (usa) sophomore year of college.
sith33 pointed out that the iTunes store now has ALL of the original Final Fantasy music available as albums by Nobuo Uematsu! Rad as hell. There are also rock mixes by The Black Mages. Their version of the Matoya's Cave music is very well done.
Re-reading my post above, I wasn't as explicit as I would have liked. I really do think that the 8-bit composers of Nintendo were one of the biggest musical influences on today's indi artists. I hear bits of it in their music, especially the likes of The Postal Service and Mates of State, but the list goes on.
Well, the good old RSN as it is known can mean any time between now and never.
"Really Soon Now."
Mike was officially done with school forever yesterday. We went and got drunk, and came home and drank some more, in celebration. There was some impromptu karaoke in Jon's room, and Mike raged on the DVDs, throwing them all around the house. I was laughing so hard at drunk Mike I could barely breathe. Good times.
Nope... but if you ever do, make sure you eat it out doors. That shit smells like finding a two week old corpse in a locked, sweltering apartment. So I hear...
Yeah... I'll never forget that Indian girl employee who bagged my groceries the one time I shopped at Whole Foods. She was so friggen hot that when she talked to me I was like duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh... it was embarassing.
I guess I didn't state that clearly: I got confirmation today that it WAS two girls getting it on that we heard that night.
Oooh, I forgot to mention some good details. For one, Di jumped about 10 feet into the air when she turned around and there was a stuffed baby black bear looking at her. The other being the fact that they have a bright blue lobster at the aquarium. I wondered out loud, "Do you think it tastes blue?" I guess this family was nearby and the wife was like disgusted by my comment and her husband was trying desparately not to laugh.
Oh, and I sent this email today to some Senators:
"As a Senator, it is your duty and obligation to this great country and your constituents to read and discuss all bills before voting on them. Please be aware of the Real ID Act.
"What good is a National ID Card? It will cost tax payers billions of dollars, yet let us not forget that the terrorists who have attacked this country all had either legal or counterfeit forms of ID that allowed them access to secure areas at airports, flight schools, and airplanes. Will spending this money make us safer? No. People who are out to commit grave illegal acts will not be deterred from forging a National ID card just because it is illegal to do so.
"Moreover, forcing a National ID Card onto Americans through the Real ID Act will move our country one step closer to a police state. What is next? Should we have to carry papers to travel and live in this country? We never needed to before. Should we let the terrorists change American life? Doesn't that mean they win? You know Communist China forces THEIR citizens to have ID cards and present papers to travel and live and work."
My pops had that scar for awhile. Bitchin'
P.S. Random blog entry viewing now available. Idea credit to the monster.
The pizza was done.
From the oven to the floor.
Worst day of my life.
The pizza was done.
Out of the oven, onto
the floor. Cry Zach, cry.
Well, it'd probably be easier at this point if they just found out I had Hashimoto's Thyroiditis like my sister (her antibody levels were 500 points above normal). Because if I don't have Hashimoto's, my high Thyroid Stimulating Hormone level of 7.19 would suggest maybe a pituitary problem (e.g. tumor). Normal TSH should be at most 5.0, though some say 4.5, and modern research suggests anything over 2.0 is a sign of problems. And if it's not Hashimoto's, and it's not a pituitary thing, then god only knows what the hell is wrong with me. Symptoms of Hashimoto's: "common symptoms are fatigue, depression, and sensitivity to cold, weight gain, muscle weakness, coarsening of the skin, dry or brittle hair, constipation, muscle cramps, increased menstrual flow, and goiter (enlargement of the thyroid gland)."
No goiter, and I'm actually more like a hyperthyroid in regards to weight, pooping, and temperature sensitivity (namely the exact opposite of the symptoms given above), but man my vagina will just NOT stop bleeding.
haikus are easy
five syllables then seven
blah blah fucking blah
Oh, I know what that something else was. There was this eastern european muslim girl in the lab waiting room. She reminded me of that old jewish man stereotype or something as she struck up conversations with every stranger in the room and didn't shut up the entire time I was sitting there. It was actually a bit soothing.
Update: Ex-girlfriend's boyfriend is now her ex-boyfriend. The Deja Vu didn't pan out. I think the comment made by 74 might be the most insightful.
That doesn't sound like me at all.
I just realised I shouldn't be doing contractions when I'm drunk... your violent end. your.
"I knew you were going to say that."
I should have drunken blogged about the Tilly and the Wall / Of Montreal concert I went to earlier in the night. I really wouldn't want to be left alone with either the singer from Of Montreal (who reminds me of Ryan Hein) *or* the one dude with all the hair who is like half droog, half riding the white horse at all times.
Oh, and Tilly and the Wall invited everybody up on stage for their last song to dance. This one guy took his shirt off and girated in a total Chris Farley moment. It was amazing.
And I shouldn't forget the story about the lady who called me an Indigo, either.
That moment has passed.
Who is this 'ouchnospecials' who posted comment number six hundred and sixty-six?
YOU get loads of money to start a business.
hahahahaha nice... depressing, but nice.
Don't even start. Last time there was a lull it was followed by some of the best material yet. I'll blog when something happens.
Nice xz, nice.
No no no those were OTHER girls. OTHER girls.
Those theme song moments in that movie are AMAZING! Funny I didn't run into you when I did run into Nathan Hall. We briefly talked about your (rightful) hate for Dave Mathews.
I'm never washing this cheek ever again.
No... it is there, and not annotated. Some things are best left a mystery.
The best part is you can be both hypo and hyper. Your thyroid gets into this push-pull scenario where it is dying so it trys to compensate by making too much hormore, but then it is dying, so everytually it is dead and can't make any.
I won't know til they send me the results. I'm leaning toward "probably."
I strip html, to be specific. Somebody would leave a dangling tag... and I'd have to kill them.
You try ending a story with the words "the night's random cake."
That is the end of the story though... I just went home and passed out. Maybe I had Taco Bell first? Something like that.
I ain't got me no money to spend on fun in Vegas after I spends me the $229 to get there.
I thought the above fact would have been clear from my attempt at onomatopoeia...
Anyway, I forgot to mention that there was this young couple standing on their porch across the street listening and laughing.
As if this weren't clear enough: She was *not* being raped. She was *definitely* enjoying herself.
[shoots look at sith33]
If he was a good friend he'd have brought his Digital Rebel and taken some photos of the view.
I'm totally tripping balls from that coffee still. I feel weird as hell.
Hmmmmmmm.... I just realised that because I've tied the icon to the user, if you change your icon, your icon is changed for all of your comments past, present, and future.
I should change that. If you comment with one icon, that icon should persist.
P.S. So did that vegetable lady, and apparently the Pope's on the way out.
Way to spread the hate into two threads Pam.
My blog has always been hit or miss. But, now that I'm done at MPR hopefully I'll have more time for antics.
Life's not been that funny lately.
Wait... so are me engrish bad to? Or just too technical?
And Mal: My life just hasn't been that humourous lately... There was the guy with the sore bottom, that's about it.
Monster.... haven't you decoded those 1's and 0's yet?
"No" and "yes," in that order.
To be honest, my first try didn't yield 52 meters.... but I did remarkably get 27m.
Meeeeeeemmmmmorriiiiiiiiiiiieeeeesssss, like the corner of my mind! Misty, water-coloured memoriiiiiiiiiiiiies of the way we were. IT WAS–
I wonder if 74's head hurts as much as mine right now? I don't know that we've ever not finished a game of Chess before...
Alcohol. The cause of and solution to all of life's problems.
raaaawwwwt! pieces of eight! raaaawwwwwt!
No no... I'd have to get onto boing boing first with something NIN related.
I just thought of a great sticker. It would say in big letters: "Republicans are welcome" And then in really small letters: "to go fuck themselves." One could put it on their shop door.
I know what I'm talking about in regards to that single. I'm praying the album is amazing.
5 5 5 2... ASCII... groupings...
I think we all want to be a hot cowgirl now and then.
Your hint: ASCII
Wow... the satire barely came through all those dudes... but I finally got it.
Incidently, maybe I should start including IP addresses with comments.
I'm terrible with names, but when you have watched the three Evil Dead movies and Bubba Ho Tep as many times as me then it is kinda hard to not have learned Bruce Campbell's name.
AND, you cared enough to rant. So I win. Neener neener.
Oh, I'm sure he has one.
We don't all need Prozac, we all need to do something about the shit that's putting us down.
hahahahah, that'd be a great marketing device. Questionable legality, but amazing.
emit txen IICSA esu :EULC
Well the box no longer says 8 x 16... it says 8 x 14.9 now.
And Murphy's has the button, too.
He's my favourite artist. I'd murder someone for an original. Just tell me who.
Guinness screwed up... John went to buy another case of cans and the printing error has been corrected.
That doesn't change the fact that the box says 8 x 16 and the can says 14.9 now does it?
Real life Luke Chueh?
Do you know the alien in question? She was singing in the bar in I've been told The Empire Strikes Back.
I tried to get Drawn! to pick up your portfolio cause I enjoy your work. They are a great blog, you should check them out: http://www.drawn.ca/
Somebody who made mention of my chopsticks blogging in their blog also is a huge NIN fan. Apparently he is a bit worried about the new material, too.
The blogosphere is weird.
Welcome aboard. You're not so bad yourself. ::wink wink::
Wasn't 'Deep' after The Fragile... not good, not good.
Well at least 66.6(repeating)% of that was surprisingly accurate.
There's no better day to start! Happy St. Pats.
Solution: start drinking.
Is it because I strip tags from comments?
(Not a constitutional amendment... an amendment to a bill.)
I was really only at about a 3 when I posted this.
It would appear as though AOL edited their TOS for clarity. I still don't trust them, probably because I never much did in the first place.
Wow, that tchaikovsky thing is great.
Congrats on the marriage. If you need help with your registry, I'm your man!
It is the future... shouldn't I make a DVD or something?
I will be when I work next, yes.
Is that today?
I have those?
Hhee, tihs dietilnfey wlil mkae a good PHP pitloofro pciee.
I don't konw. If you've got a lnik to the sdtuy tehn sned it my way, I'd lkie to raed it.
I dunno, do you feel better about me?
Do you even need to ask? Working.
Oh, and I slapped a 770 Radio K sticker over an 89.3 sticker at work, too.
Web design and web mastering both suck big bananas. I'd do web applications, though. You get paid more, and it is a cakewalk.
I hope you keep some examples around that don't look like that, cause you aren't going to get hired someplace worth working at with examples like that.
Nor would you last long at those places if you started producing stuff like that.
Oh, and it was especially awesome today when I was working on one of the documentaries (they each have their own unique design) that had 120 files, each with statically reproduced header and footer. What's better is that there was an index.html *AND* and index.htm in the directory, and they were both different and both accessible parts of the site. The guy who did all this has been promoted in the company at least twice now.
If everybody followed the standards exactly you wouldn't have to worry about whether it rendered correctly in your long list of browsers. You could write once and be done with it.
It is completely unacceptable for a browser to not conform to the standard. I'm not unreasonable, I don't expect every browser to conform to ALL of the standard immediately, so long as they publish which parts they've not implemented (which good browsers do) and they've followed the standard for the parts they have. If you disagree with that, you either haven't bothered to really think it through, or you are taking the opposite side just for the sake of the argument, or you are an idiot. Because I'm right, and any decent computer scientist with a quick glance at history could see why.
If you did anything sufficiently interesting with CSS you'd quickly come to realise that IE is a fiery piece of shit that ruins your life because 60% of the people still use it. All of the amazing stuff you want to do that is really cool and really maintainable and really fast and really etc. works on everything BUT IE.
The issue of whether or not people should write markup that conforms to the standards, well, I'm not going to be such a dick about that. However, not doing so puts a huge roadblock in the idea of write once, render anywhere, because browsers have to render your shit code. I'm not going to be a dick, because it is the web, and the browsers probably SHOULD be able to render your shit code.
But if you are a professional web guy, and you aren't creating something just for yourself, you look illiterate writing invalid markup. How stupid would you look if you submitted a C program that didn't compile because of syntax errors?
So I guess doctors are fascists for following standard practice, and architects are Nazis for following building code.
Whatever dude. There's a reason there is ANSI C, there is a reason there is IEEE float representation.
Abide by the goddamn standards.
Actually.... we're just not college drop outs.
I wish I didn't know what you meant, but unfortunately I do.
It really could use some animation. I know what my first Flash project will be now.....
The blue and the red configuration are the end points. The bottom four blue rectangles of the blue configuration are zoomed and rotated into the red configuration. Get it?
Sexy! You promised I could test drive it! You did!
well, besides missing verbs, you also didn't say what kind of car.
I didn't think 'escape-car' sounded right.... me brain no right work
Damn typo.... through*
He dropped me off at my car, my car was fully intact, and I drove home.
Way to go, you broke my sidebar.
I thought Megan living there sounded an awful lot like a cover story.
For the record, I'm sure halo 18 will actually be a single... we'll see if it comes out as an EP, though.
I was having problems with the video link at nin.com, so here is a direct route to the teaser.
I'm a terrible fan, CLOSURE on DVD. Before you lynch me, at least I didn't go and edit my comment to pretend like this never happened.
That was kind of the point...
With a little Lovecraft, and props to Conrad for the title.
Oh, and -1, Off topic
Nope. I also need to get Closer on DVD... VHS simply will no longer do.
Our line-caught dolphin is 100% pure. No tuna are injured in bring you this product.
New link to the old graphic in question...
I haven't seen you on AIM in a long time Pam... you should log on cause I got a song for you.
If you are implying I'd name my bastard son joey, you're an idiot.
I named him Zach, Jr.
I've got the English multidisc import. 7 tracks total.
no no... bastard is my preferred term for children conceived out of wedlock...
Are you freaking kidding me?! Yeah, I work at Minnesota Public Radio. Do you ever fly out to St. Paul?
Ok, so Halo 16 probably qualifies as a remix CD, but the remix you speak of is by Telefon Tel Aviv and probably has a little too much vocoder for my liking. Though, I do like other tracks on the CD, so I'd say we're about even there.
Halo 7 is a single for March of the Pigs, or more appropriately an EP. NOT a remix CD. Score one for me.
Halo 6 is definitely a remix CD. The Happiness in Slavery remix is amazing. +2 points for you.
My favourite remixes are on the Closer single/EP, though. Plus one point me.
I guess that makes the score about 3 to 3.
I prefer the term 'bastard.'
damnit.... [digging through NIN CD library sounds]
Hi there Zack, thanks for joining us. I found you via BoingBoing. I read it religiously.
I was in Chicago with trampface for New Year's. We met up with Amrish and his then girlfriend, now future wife, that I set him up with. I'd imagine this photo was taken from the Sear's Tower.
The remixes on the singles are way better than the remixes on the remix albums.
I think I'm going to throw out my entire music collection and put The Downward Spiral on repeat.
And I'm spent.
If I don't have a tent, how come I'm pitching one right now?
Videogames don't enter into it... killing hookers wasn't wrong in the first place.
Actually, I was just going to make taco meat from the dead tutes in my freezer.
I'd eat at HER taco stand.
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh YES! Of course! We are projecting first quarter growth across all sectors.
Funny thing is, I *too* googled tekoki at work. I was trying to find a picture of a tanooki, and my first misspelling had google suggest tekoki to me. So I naturally clicked on it, at MPR, which was funny.
Are you kidding?! My BLOG is not safe for work.
A hardcore pic could end up on the front page at any moment.
Incidentally.... Christy, stay out of my freezer.
Mike and John both know it is a fake. John walked in there and casually came across the letter and was like "What's this?" Ian explained the situation. John says, "I'm surprised they even told you that it fell from the forklift." Ian replied, "Well, they are required to by law."
Damn it... if I'd been smart I would have written on the notice "Please call us immediately upon delivery," or something because he is convinced the letter is real. Then I could have laughed at all the telephone drama.
Damn... he's not like FREAKING OUT like a big stupid baby. He just calmly decided to see if it was broken, and it isn't, so he probably won't even call customer service.
Ian just read the letter out loud to Mike and followed it with, "So that's fucking great." He's plugging it in right now.
I like my hookers like I like my coffee: ground up and in the freezer.
smove® is my term. Please credit me for its use.
Also, there are few things funnier than killing prostitutes... or 'toots' as I like to call them... right before I murder them.
Feeling better Sith?
I'm too busy. Maybe later.
Yeah. It is old. FUCK! I forgot batteries for my camera.
The movie was sappy.
Special thanks to the Christy Monster for 2/3 of the work on my title. That is 66.6 repeating percent, for those of you at home. Did you know that 0.9 repeating is equal to 1.0?
There aren't any comments for the 22, 23, 24th in this entry. You need to go to just 'xopl.com' rather than this specific entry to read the new stuff. As for the 'not mom' business, that is just my doings. I run this boat, I can do what I want.
She lives in the ghetto... "nord east minneapolis."
74: Done and done.
I would also like the record to show that we had tea because we were cold and already drunk.
Apparently, I should have pointed out that I've never used capital letters in my titles to Christy. That is the one edit I'm going to make.
I would never exaggerate a story. Everything is 100% absolutely true.
So nice of you to join us.
Mrs Xopl sounds like my wife you dumb ass
cranial sacural the rapist
My grass is looking nice as shit.
It was in fact my mother, there was an email to go along with it. She was like "Should I be reading this?!"
True, I mean, the statement could be false afterall. Whereas assignments are always true.
I think it is definitely possible that the poster was actually my mom, though I don't know if she talks like that.... no control on guest posts and all...
I think I have a better idea......
I just got interweb back this morning. I got home and it was b0rken.
The gift that keeps on giving.
Naming the kid after me, that's what's crazy.
Or that 'lush' and 'zach' are interchangable. You = lush is kind of saying "I am declaring that zach is a lush" whereas You == lush kind of means "zach and a lush are the same thing."
Damn it. Would you look at my grass? Ruined!
Was it you?!
Okay, who can't read the sign?
Go figure a broccoli gets happy comment number 250.
I would have also accepted the assignment operator in this particular instance.
Or today as it were. I guess technically you may have meant Tuesday. But you'd be a jerk then.
I thought you said Monday didn't work for you? Yeah, I'd totally do Mongolian tomorrow.
Whatever, you don't drink.
Ryan, Ian, Mike and John.
And that's pronounced "yoh-derr"
The cold kept us inside. There was some Ren & Stimpy watching and some Jameson drinking.
Man, I was egg sauce ted last night. But I slept from like 4 to like 3... so I feel better.
I don't know what 'everyone else' you are talking about. You're the only one who ever posts here sith.
Stalker! Did you ever consider I was AT WORK FOR TWELVE HOURS TODAY.
I need glasses but don't wear glasses. And I really, really loved that strip, that's why.
I like your shoes. Give them to me.
You're banned for a year.
I don't even want them now.
Holy god does that band suck... I had forgotten the extent of their suckage. I totally would have picked a better band to work into a joke if I had known better.
I'm sorry Colin: I left my Heart in San Francisco. And if anybody there finds that cassette tape, I really want it back.
Hear me tonight I don't want to be
strangers at heart
Oh, I dunno....... if I ever get a real job I'd have money to spend.
I'm whoring myself out for sith.
Hmmmm... I have friends in London, Norway, and Germany. I'm not sure how long I could extend the welcome in London though. My research suggested it would take $2000 to do London properly. I have a big beer budget.
circa instead of cerca?
I work 10 - 5 and 8 - 12 on Wednesday. So no.
I think I already gots planses for Tueday.
It's winter. I'm hibernating. And I tried to get you to UE with me but whatever happened to that, huh? Whatever happened to lunch in St. Paul?
How do you know I didn't steal those uniforms?
Let's have some.
Too bad that he's a PRUDE and DOESN'T DRINK
And you can't use Word... man it produces some nasty nasty markup
I might just quit, removing the need for such a tool
I only smell a little.
You could have NOT read it. heh
I agree, it had problems. I'm just mad that you pointed out the truth.
Things change from Dec 30 to Jan 3rd. It is still dick compared to the war budget. And, I'm pretty sure you'll find they like to appropriate funds and then never spend them (see Iran's earthquake, see Iraq's reconstruction).
It wouldn't be the first time I blogged about a dream. It is a nice way for me to remember them later.
Thanks, I couldn't decide between soviet block, communist block, and eastern block-- what do they usually call it? I thought eastern block was most right.
You are also the person who pointed out to me that the $85 billion was an ANNUAL budget in addition to normal pentagon budgeting, and that about $200 billion have been appropriated and/or spent on Iraq so far.
Oh, I actually finished the marking up and got to do some photomagraphical research and copyright clearing. That was cool. I shall continue that on the morrow.
60,000..... I think it's awesome that Phucket is in the news so much.
When I made that image... that hilarious image... that stupendously amazingly hilarious image... only 24,000 were dead. Now that 51,000 are dead I feel a little bad, but not enough to do anything about it.
ohhhhh and I wanted to mention that a photo of my dead grandpa.... well, he nodded to me.
as for your comment, I quote the Homer, "It's funny cause I don't know them."
Shit and I totally fucking forgot to mention the Peewee's Playhouse DVDs I was watching tonight. It has been at least twelve years since I've seen an episode. So good. So, so good.
I was going to do Xopl Claus's Chrimbo 2004 Naughty & Nice list, but I couldn't think of anybody for the nice list and the naughty list was too obvious.
You like that shit? COFFEE *AND* PIE, BEEYATCH!
Welcome aboard moonie. ;)
I was going to say something mean to go along with your joke, but it is Christmas afterall.
I'm going to try them out tonight.... you'll get thanked if they work.
Wouldn't you like to know!
Actually a co-worker of mine said, "Yeah, we always used to make 'snow' men around the Holidays." So apparently this isn't a foreign concept.
No but I almost did this Halloween. I went out and bought a children's book of those lame spooky stories to read in the dark / by flashlight / by the campfire (that's actually how the book is broken down). That story was in the book but I didn't bother since I knew the plot.
hmmm... I just realised updating this broke the old permalink. Good thing this is just my shitty blog that nobody cares about. Lesson learned for future reference.
Sexy new icon... too bad about you still being a boring person and all.
Clearly it wasn't a dialogue either.
'Twas the week before Christmas,
departing the house,
with the day off from working
I left and got soused.
Oh, the weather was chilly,
so just out the door,
I remembered to thank the
three layers I wore.
With my friend Ian joining,
we walked down the street.
I did talk about Megan
who later we'd meet.
Pracna's beer was two dollars,
so there we did go.
And I nearly did slip in
the new fallen snow.
You, sir, have a limiteder grasp of the english language.
Allow me to demonstrate what a dialogue looks like to somebody who isn't obviously on drugs:
"Is it St. Swithins Day already?"
"Tis," replied Aunt Helga.
The way trackbacks are done now is also fucked, but more importantly nobody deep links to my blog entries so there is no need for trackbacks now.
RSS is an inferior and dieing technology. I'll adopt the next gen equivalent when it comes around. I don't want some stupid RSS bot blindly and idiotically polling my site for updates, nor does the one person who reads this need an RSS feed of it.
True. You did post comment number 100.
Ok, I've got 74's comments figured out. Now its just the dark sith who is obviously smoking crack for suddenly realising the pages end with .html or something.
Considering who 74 is I should have realised he was probably refering to architectural design rather than asthetic design.
Now neither of you make any sense. All I change is pagination and sith suddenly thinks content is statically generated. And 74... sith was talking about the software not the design so god only knows how it is you can agree with him on it being troubling.
For the record I use PHP-CGI, not the apache module. None of these URLs point to real files, instead the URL is parsed and the appropriate database rows are dynamically puked onto your screen. As for the design... it can either be ugly or gorgeous, but certainly not troubling seeing as it is very functional.
I'm still unclear as to why all of a sudden you think something server-side has changed?
What're you talking about, "And now you statically generate your pages?" What to you mean "now" I am? What makes you think that?
Come on, that had all the aspects of a good story: NOC's, LED's, plant cams, Garrison Keeler...
I can't and I won't..... until I'm older.
no, it was a word play... eavesdropping / dropping a deuce
You are a broccoli... that's the produce department, not grocery. I can't help you.
Anybody need some rice? I'll never eat all this...
oh-for-three today. heh.
it seems to have stopped drizziling too
damn, nevermind. Turns out in the USA he used bollocks correctly... it is a verb here. Who'd a' known?
your title is dumb, bitch.
sun came up.............. damnit
And a special thanks to my bro-in-law for sending me the link to the article.
uhhhhhhhh.... he WILL kill you.... I wouldn't uhhhhh do that if I were you....
You're trying to piss me off and it's working. I suppose you would tell someone to give up the Beatles, give up Led Zeppelin, give up Ella Fitzgerald, give up the Howlin' Wolf? Cause they are done. Any blatant rip offs of them should go unmentioned. You know you are wrong. Before Ren and Stimpy there was what... Tiny Toons? Looney Tunes? Inspector Gadget? Gem? Ren and Stimpy bridged the gap between old tame cartoons and what we have today. You'd never have ATHF, Sponge Bob, Sealab 2021, and the countless of Ren and Stimpy rip offs that didn't make it far enough to be mentioned here. People wouldn't have even known they wanted such a thing. Look at the style of Ren and Stimpy. Example: the painted stills they would interweve that you see in Sponge Bob today as well as several Cartoon Cartoon's. What about the themes, the post-modernism, the subtle anti-commercialism? The voice acting, the buldging veins? Put any non-anime cartoon next to Ren and Stimpy and tell me who's their daddy? You wanted a rant and you got one.
Damn. The numbers were 3 28 36 38 44 1, but I had 3 28 36 39 44 1..... oh well, I guess I'll just throw this ticket out. Better luck next time.
Only smart people read this... please... "double entendre"
Clearly you can't read.
"hookers and blow" has such a better ring to it than "blow and hookers" don't you think?
hmmmm... yes. Cherry and peach, probably feminine. Grape, mmmmmmaybe male. No real surprises yet.
Perhaps people don't realise this question is COMPULSORY!!!
Cherry. I'm pretty sure cherry.
So far this month I've served 6000 pages, to over 600 hosts, and you sir represent 1.85% of my traffic. Besides me, your little sliver is the only other host to show up uniquely in the graphs. Congratulations, you are officially a stalker.
Woah. I just got deja vu about having deja vu.... AGAIN. I have this memory of you posting something like that, and in the memory I have deja vu about the post, but realise I've only recently enabled commenting on my blog so I couldn't possibly be recalling a similar post by you. I just had deja vu, and then deja vu about my previous deja vu. I even went through the same "no, I just enabled comments recently" logic in my head.
You haven't got a problem, you've got problems-- plural.
But this is Wisconsin we're talking about. It's not like IL where they only got the big city and a few fields. Wisconsin has like year round hunting seasons, tourist fishing industry, forests, campgrounds.... gotta have a DNR. They'd cut education before they cut the DNR.
Ok, so the DNR thinks I saw a dead deer.
I was going to mention the snow... nothing major, just enough to make me scrape my car windows.
Working at Cub til 2am.
If anyone doubts me on my puma concolor sighting, I'd just like the record to show that recently several mountain lions have been hit by cars as far East as Kansas City, MO. (Not to mention that these cats used to inhabit all of north america.)
Why? It's not like anyone reads this.
I just realised this is blog post number 74.
Sweet. I'm on boingboing again. I guess I kinda cheated by using fark this time though. heh.
too busy working til 4am for you
I should mention that it was one of my roommates John who happened across the Yahoo News story while visiting Yahoo to check his email or something.
Ali did the Fancy Feast facing today... thank god.
no no no... you shoulda done a "FIRST POST!"
You woulda been the first, first post.
rummybear.com was originally just a website with a very drunk bear, but with Bush stealing a second term I decided I might dedicate the domain to political news I didn't want to post here.
You heard the nice lady!