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voluble in valkenvania

<< Feb 22, 2005 @ 17:24 >>

I never left the house yesterday, so I also never moved my car yesterday. It got towed.

The Minneapolis Impound Lot is something right out of the movie Nothing But Trouble. It is impossible to find for starters. It is located immediately downtown, but on the so-called North side which is really West of Hennepin. Despite the holding lots for the cars being enormous seas of vehicles (the photo captures about one quarter of what was in front of me, and none of the equal share behind me), you can't tell it is even there. It is surrounded by railroad tracks and is below most everything else around it, specifically the streets. There is exactly one way to get there, consisting of finding your way to a two-way portion of an otherwise one-way street and then making the turn onto the one little dead-end lane that will get you to the office. The route is marked with abandoned buildings, drug dealers, and pot holes big enough to swallow a Geo.

The line was long, but thankfully moved fast. I got all the way to the front of the line when three hoods just went under the rope and got in front of me. Nobody said anything to them. I was going to, and though I really could care less if they shot or stabbed me since I gotta die sometime anyway, I was already irritated and didn't really want to have to listen to their bullshit and poorly formed sentences. It's not like they'd have acquiesced to my requests. Or know what the word acquiesce means. Unless of course they saw Pirates of the Caribbean. Though, if they did it was probably at Block E, and they were probably the same kids who were high and talking on their mobiles the whole time. So they probably missed that part anyway.

Once I paid the $133, and got my $33 ticket to go with the tow fee, I got my little slip and was sent off to ride a shuttle bus to my car in the giant lot. We drove past boats, and jetskis, and trailers, and a variety of smashed, wrecked, and burned-out cars before we even got to the towed cars. The crashed cars came in all sorts of variations. One of them had both front wheels smashed out sideways and was bent in the middle. It must have like gone off a jump or something. It was like I was driving through Valkenvania.

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February 22, 2005 @ 18:18:09

marilyn.pngsith33 (#999)

That blog finished faster than... a really fast thing. So what happened? Did you get your car back? Was it all busted up? Broken bones and nasty cuts?

February 22, 2005 @ 19:04:36

coleco.pngxopl (#001)

He dropped me off at my car, my car was fully intact, and I drove home.

February 23, 2005 @ 08:59:55

cmonster.pngChristy (monster)

I didn't see any drug dealers OR any hoods. Well, there were a couple, but they were on their best behaviour and didn't try to budge.

There was a little black kid behind us in line with his mother, and every couple of minutes he would start to tell a story that made him laugh so hard he couldn't tell the story to anyone else.

Right behind him was a mom (with her fake-tanned, highlighted hair daughter) who just HAD to be from Edina, and she complained about the whole process through the entirety of the line. At the end, she told the little boy to be good to his momma AND to get good grades in school.

February 23, 2005 @ 09:01:40

cmonster.pngChristy (monster)

Oh, and I didn't go to the impound lot with Zach, because he would have found it if I had (I've never been towed, I just have a good sense of direction). I went with my roommate who left the house 10 minutes later than me that day and watched the tow truck disappear around the corner with her car on the back.

February 23, 2005 @ 12:04:41

muffin.pngxz (#1006)

boy. i wish you had taken a picture of the bent car. i'm in the market for one of those because i love to take corners fast.

February 24, 2005 @ 15:54:48

suits.png74 (#074)

Speaking of cars, I'm in the market for something I can purchase for around 1 case of beer. Shocks, doors, windows, and brakes are all unessential. The vehicle must have trustworthy seat-belts and move over 45 mph without the assistance of wind or hills.

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