Ok... so, in my movies.txt file (where I keep my list of movies I need to see) was a gem I didn't think I'd get to see anytime soon. Here's how it appears in the file:
Pom Poko (raccoon balls... testicles... movie)
A bit weird, you might say? Well, you see... it's accurate. Pom Poko is an anime film from Japan about shape-shifting raccoons with magical balls.
I shit you not.
And it was just on Turner Classic Movies tonight. It's actually pretty Emo, I gotta say... reminiscent of some Rankin Bass shit.
You still don't believe me about the magical testicles, do you? Well... allow me to show you then:
Yes. That really is a scene from Pom Poko involving raccoons using their scrotums as parachutes. You still don't believe me, do you? Look... where is that skin connecting back to the raccoon?
This is a CHILDREN'S CARTOON.
You know what happens right after the scrotum parachuting? The raccoons' balls swell up to enormous proportions, and they divebomb riot police. They divebomb riot police, and then the raccoons PUMMEL THE COPS WITH THEIR NUTS.
I know this is hard to imagine. How could such a fantastic film have slipped past you all these years? Well, let me tell you, it has... and you will come to thank me for finding it for you.
I'm telling you, that's their balls. In many other scenes in the cartoon, the raccoons are sporting big Peter-Griffin's-chin BALLS between their legs.
It's on again tonight. TCM. 1:45am. Pom Poko.
HOLY CRAP SDL:FKSHDFJKGHS:DHSD:HKSDF:KLSDFJ
PETER, GET ON!
They call it a "pouch" in the English translation. Specifically, they call in a "pouch" in a scene where like 30 raccoons stretch out the scrotum of one really old raccoon until it turns into a boat...
AND THEN THEY SAIL AWAY ON THE MAGICAL SCROTEBOAT.
I SWEAR TO GOD! REALLY!
I'm watching right now. I can't believe the nuts aren't mine.
Okay, I believe you now. I can't believe I've never heard of this!
Okay, I'm pretty proud of the power of my testes, but deez nuts ain't got nothing on raccoon nuts.
Balls balls balls balls balls!
not TKwong (guest)
There are also numerous hilarious TV ads based on this film.
not wwwSyidnet (guest)
HA! I saw this same movie on TNT, that very same night/early morning. It was pretty awesome, although for moment there, I thought that I was tripping when they had the shape shifting parade. A Must See for all!!!!
Jesse just pointed out to me that the U of M front page has a story on this film right now. Apparently they're showing it:
not Stix (guest)
hey this movie is really good.. and the balls of the raccon dogs.. well its traditional in japan to show these racoon dogs with giant balls
not nicole (guest)
i just watched this movie last night, and i was googling images to show my friends the magical nut sacs, and i came upon this awesome blog. i was actually laughing really hard, especially when i got to the part where you wrote, "This is a CHILDREN'S CARTOON." great description. thank you!
not ezzer (guest)
I love this film. It's special. I have it on DVD.
They aren't racoons by the way. They're Tankuki, part of the Canid family... stupid translators can't do things properly.
You mean Tanuki? Like in Mario 3? The Tanuki suit let mario fly and turn to stone.... no giant magical testicles, though.
Man, that would have been a different game...
Read Villa Incognito, by Tom Robbins...all about tanooki and their insatiable sex drives! Oh and their giant testicles and drum bellies!
not shokichi (guest)
you really love their balls don't you
not misterpompoko (guest)
Yes, many people wish they could do THAT
not youranasshole (guest)
this is ancient japanese culture. over there its not as big a deal because they are more grown up than assholes like you. you seem pretty emo yourself
not misterpompoko (guest)
"youranasshole" is correc, this is very old japanese culture, altho it is extremly odd.
ANCIENT CHINESE SECRET
not DukeNukem (guest)
I'VE GOT BALLS OF STEEL.
not anonymous (guest)
who cares? why not grow a pair of balls of your own instead of being so closed minded to other cultures?
not KD (guest)
You can't help but laugh at it, even if it is part of their culture XD
not Zero (guest)
Also, they have a shape shifting tanuki parade at one point in the movie.
Trippiest thing I have ever seen in a movie.
not Alouette (guest)
What is the big deal that this is a children's film? Do young males not grow testicles in until they reach puberty? Oh, wait, they are born with them? Maybe if Americans weren't so uptight about sexuality you wouldn't have your panties in a twist.
not randomgirl (guest)
I don't think this is about being uptight about sexuality or about being closeminded to other cultures. I think he is just laughing b/c it's just plain wierd. And also it's kind of funny that this is a children's movie.... funny not horrible.
The reason this is all so fantastic and hilarious is precisely because Americans are so uptight about sexuality.
And having grown up in the US, there is something truly magical about watching somebody get beat down by giant testicles.
I'm sorry that some of you who have vastly superior cultural understanding and comfort with your sexuality don't apparently also have a very well developed sense of humor.
not peanutkid (guest)
Tanukis are a type of wild dog in Japan. They're not really raccoons. Tanukis are usually depicted with large testicles in traditional Japanese culture.
not omghi2u (guest)
Holy shit, this movie is nothing! I saw this documentary about Africa, and there were these dudes running around WITH THEIR DICKS OUT! I totally shit you not! Some of them had sort of dick-extender gizmos on too.
It was totally something that we as westerners can point at and giggle. "The crazy black men have their pee-pees out! Must-see for all!"
not anon (guest)
not old (guest)
holy fucking old shit man miyazaki you all suck balls for not knowing
Wow I dunno "omghi2u" ... maybe I draw some distinction between magical furry animals and human beings?
And if some men in a documentary managed to fashion their testicles into some sort of giant sailboat, you are goddamn right it would be a must-see for all.
That shit would be impressive!
not Bob (guest)
Those are some huuuuge balls.
not nut (guest)
not taylor (guest)
They are called Tanuki
Part of Japanese folklore. It has a magical scrotum and also a leaf that it uses to shape shift into things. You may recognize this (the leaf part not the scrotum part) from Animal Crossing. The shop owner is a racoon named Tom Nook (it's similar) and the symbol for furniture is a leaf which actually shape shifts into its assigned furniture piece. :]