no good deed goes ununpunished
Dec 4, 2006 @ 18:19
Gas for your car:
$20.00
Gas for the guy who says he's broke and needs gas to get home:
$3.00
Christmas Cheer:
Free
Forgetting your gas cap:
Price of a new gas cap dollars + lost dignity
Finding your gas cap still there 24 hours later:
Priceless
calling all zombies
Nov 29, 2006 @ 08:59
Some kids dressed up as zombies and got arrested for it downtown, and now they decided to sue. (Sue for undead rights. It is hard enough to be a minority, and then you have to face police discrimination? We're here! We're zombies. Braaaaaains!) I say everybody should show up to the court case dressed as zombies.
totally tumorlur, dude
Nov 29, 2006 @ 07:58
So there's this commercial on TV. Jennifer Aniston and this bald little girl are sitting on a couch together. It goes something like this:
Jennifer: "Amy kept getting headaches."
Amy: "I fell and hit my head on the trampoline."
Jennifer: "But it wasn't the trampoline was it? It was brain cancer."
Amy: [nods]
WTFBBQ!?!?11/1/1?!?!?!?1/11!?!?eleven!/1/1?!?!!?!one??/1/!/1/!?1/!slash??1/
oh what providence!
Nov 27, 2006 @ 18:03
Vorarephilia (also referred to as voraphilia, vore, voreaphilia, and phagophilia) is the interest or paraphilia in which a person fantasizes about eating another person and/or creature, being eaten him/herself, and/or watching another be eaten. Preferences vary, but most prefer to fantasize about being devoured whole and alive (soft vore), as opposed to those who prefer to be torn, chewed, and killed (hard vore). Those who prefer hard vore are sometimes referred to as "shreddies"; those who prefer soft vore, conversely, are known as "gulpies".
Are you a shreddy or a gulpy?
I'm not a witch at all.
No, actually I would be a gulpy. I take joy in watching others being swallowed whole, whereas being eaten in chunks is just kind of messy.
Man I tell you, the shit you find on the interlink... if learning about shreddies wasn't bizarre enough, somehow this concept of unbirthing surfaces here as well. I realise they specifically address this, but it still makes me think twice about having A Very Merry Unbirthday.
Blow your candles out my dear, and make your wish come true.
my dream pet
Nov 22, 2006 @ 11:04
"The fast-flying bats have little warning of the centipede's presence, and within moments one is snatched from the air in mid-flight. The S. gigantea's toxic venom works quickly as the bat hopelessly attempts to squirm from the grasp of many legs, only to succumb to the poison seconds later. There, dangling from the cave ceiling, the centipede eats every scrap of flesh from its prey over the period of about an hour. It then pulls itself back up to the ceiling and climbs down the wall to return to the dark, damp corner of the cave from whence it came."
I can't help by read that in a Vincent Price or James Earl Jones voice. It gives me that sort of pan-zoom tunnel vision and rapid heartbeat you get right at that most revealing moment of utter horror at the center of a Edgar Allen Poe or Lovecraftian story.
Now I'm especially glad to be leaving the state for Thanksgiving. I never saw this particularily lovely flavour of hundred legged spawn of satan until I moved to Minnesota. Now they have blood orgies in my apartment on a semi-regular basis.
On an unrelated happy sunshine and unicorns note... I had delicious Indian food on Eat Street with Dani last night. There was this mysterious bright green paste which was quite good even if I have no idea what the hell it was. Then after that all of you missed the most amazing telling of my story about being knocked out by a horse, rendered in Legos.