We'll get to the atrocity, but first let me tell you about Target and Blick. Target is slightly less interesting, but I will say Zoë is my favourite name... especially when it involves ümlates and girls hot enough to live up to the name. (Oh how I dream of girls with exotic names...) Blick on the other hand... I have never gone there and not seen two total bombshells behind the register. I don't know what the deal is.
Ok, so I went to the mall to get a video adapter for my new Apple so I could go dual head. Out of the corner of my eye I spot blue ice cream. Being from Wisconsin, and being that they don't have Hansen's Dairy around here, I was skeptical – but hopeful – that it would be Blue Moon ice cream. Lo and behold, it was! I ordered some up, explaining to the completely indifferent employees my delight in seeing this Flavour outside the depths of hell— I mean Wisconsin.
Making a quick lap through the mall while I lapped at my icecream (I lie. It was in a dish. I was eating it with a spoon.) these two little kids decided to nag the lone buffalo separated from the herd (me):
Kid 1: "What flavour is that blue ice cream?"
Kid 2: "Yeah, is it any good?"
Me: Actually, it is blended Smurfs. They put vanilla ice cream and a handful of Smurfs in a blender. [Digging in the bowl] Hey, look, Smurfette's hat!
Both of their eyes got wide. I was all excited. Here it is, here comes the Niagra Falls.
Kid 1: What's a "smurf?"
DAMNIT! Foiled by the generation gap!
Me: Nevermind, kid. It tastes like blue. You happy?
Lowsy brats didn't cry for Smurfette. They'd get along with Gargamel just fine... and his little red cat Azrael...
Anyway, I got to the Apple store with some Blue Moon left over in my dish and the guy says, "Sir, no food or drink in the store please." To which I quip back, "Well, you can't hardly call this food," and plop a big gooey liquid blue glob into the bowl.
He laughed, and I laughed, and we had a couple beers, and talked about bitches and sports.
Folks, Zach sold out. He's not a geek anymore. Deal.
If I weren't already dating someone I would totally go to Blick just to pick up chicks.